Love, loathe, betrayal - a gang story

Chapter 1

"I still remember the day like it was yesterday. The pain, the sorrow, it all builds up inside of me!" I tell the shrink sat in front of me. "I understand the pain of your fathers death and I believe in some ways you blame yourself," I just look at my knees then reply "if I had just been there that night I could have tried to protect him, at least a little bit!" I stutter feeling tears brewing in my eyes, "Florence you weren't even 16when your father was killed, you couldn't have done anything."

I leave my therapists office and begin my walk home, I have been going once a week  ever since my father was killed, going over the same pointless crap about my feelings and how I blame myself for going out with my friends and leaving him for a cold- hearted killer to break in and shed his blood, they never did catch the killer - or killers with the brutality of the murder, it couldn't have been one singular person. I still lay awake in my bed at night wondering if it was a random attack or very carefully planned and carried out by elite serial killers...

I let my thoughts wonder, I often have to as no one was really making a conscious effort to solve the crime so I had to think of my own solutions. I put my key in my red front door to our house and walk through the light coloured hallway, I shiver as I walk past what would have been my dads body just 14 months before, with the newly painted walls to cover up the blood splatter the shooting left. I wish we could move house but we don't have the money, there are some good memories here too, I try to think positive. I walk to the kitchen where my mum is sat studying some papers "I'm home mum!" I fall out and she gives me a small wave "spaghetti for dinner, how was today's session?" She says trying her hardest to be cheerful not looking up from her papers. She never was a great mum always out on the piss but since dad does she's really been trying I just hope she doesn't get dragged under again... "the usual" I say before flicking my shoes off and heading upstairs "is Will home?" I add, this time she looks up at me "no honey, straight out again- anyone would think he didn't live here!" She says with a look I can't quite work out. Will is my brother he is 19, just over two years older than me, we were really close as children, inseparable really but as we grew up out relationship grew out too. He went to our local university so is hardly home, he goes out early morning and get back late at night, I sigh and walk to my room at the back of me house.

I do any homework I had to do and FaceTime my best friend, Layla, she has been there for me since day one and we have been friends for years! After eating my spaghetti it was getting late so I get out of my leggings and into my cuddly pajamas, I kissed the photo of my dad on my bedside table and pull the covers close in attempt to go to sleep. Like usual though my mind was racing, anyone would think after 14 months we would have moved house and started a new life after what happened but we didn't. Will said he has too many connections to this town to move far, he got his way of course - apart from Layla their is nothing here me me, my parents had a joined business (when my mum decided to turn up) but after he died she gave it up it was a bit too much for her. We lost a lot of money and we are only just getting by... after an hour or two I lost count of how long I was awake I drifted off into a disturbed sleep.

"Nowhere, just leave it mum!" I hear Will shout from downstairs, "just tell me where you keep going all the time it's obviously not uni this time of night, Florence misses you!" My mum reply's and I scrunch my nose of course I miss him but since dad died he changed, he is... cold. "She's 17 she's a big girl now." I look over at my clock and it reads '2:36am' these are the crazy times my brother would return home from him mystery trips. Will stomps up the stairs and slams his bedroom door, I sigh and go back to sleep.

So this is the start of the new story, it's going to be a fairly long one so please bear with. Also thank you so much for nearly 600 reads on one of my other stories, very grateful and hope you enjoy this story.

Em x