Love, loathe, betrayal - a gang story

Chapter 31

I get to his caravan and push through the ajar door to find pots and pans thrown everywhere, the tv off the stand and items broken all over the room, I guess he didn't take it well. "Clay?" I call out cautiously when I hear a crash from his bedroom I take it upon myself to go in. "Florence? Sorry I didn't know you were here yet" he says his cheeks stained with tears. "Did you know Walter was my father and the guys tried to keep it from me!" I look die feeling guilty as I also 'kept it from him.' "Flo, you knew didn't you?" He says raising his voice I look back at him but he doesn't say anything "I can't believe you knew too, you of all people kept this from me!" He yells and my heart aches. "I'm so sorry, I had to I swear I never meant to hurt you," I walk towards him and reach for his hands but he jerks away, "please don't touch me." I step back respecting his wishes. "It was all to protect you, we didn't want to just hand you over like some top secret package!" I yell in defence. "Julia died because of me Florence do you know how that makes me feel? Finding out Seb isn't actually my full brother, finding out I was the result of Walter raping my mother! Do you understand that pain I feel, my whole life was a lie!" He yells starting to cry again. My hatred for Walter grows with every story I hear about him. "I'm so sorry" is all I can say, I'm actually speechless. Clay looks around the room probably for something else to toss "I can't imagine being in your position Clay but you have to calm down" I say slowly and clearly, his breathing has been quickening for the past few minutes and with him going really pale I fear he might mass out. "Calm down? Calm down? Listen to yourself you just said you can't imagine being in this position so you obviously don't get it!" I'm a bit hurt by his words but I reassure myself it was only said out of anger. "I hate this gang! Nothing good ever came out of joining, I thought you guys had my back but it's all secrets and lies!" He shouts "you don't mean that, I've been here for over a month and they have shown me more respect and proven their loyalty more than anyone I've ever met. These people would bend over backwards for you, that's why they didn't tell you, to protect you!" I find myself defending these people I've only known for a small amount of time. Truth be told I can't imagine my life without the gang in it. Clay is silent and probably shocked about my sudden outburst. "My mum should have told me it's not fair" he says in a sad tone crossing his arms and slumping on the bed. "She might have been planning too," I reply calmly. "She might have been embarrassed and didn't want you to feel out of place, from what you've told me about your mother she would have had your best interests in mind, like the Soutas." "Don't compare her to these people" Clayton spits, "think about how your acting Clay, you have every right to be upset and angry but I don't think it's a good idea to disrespect the people who have been there for you" I explain rationally.

I'm still stood leant against his doorframe and he just looks up at me like a sad and lost puppy. "Would you want Stella to see you acting this way?" I kind of regret bringing his sister into this but he needs to see the way he acting is a bit unreasonable. He's eyes snap to me then back to the ground, "she always hated when I raised my voice," he says in a deathly tone. I take a seat next to him. I put my arm around him and pull him close, he leans into me and I stroke his hair, feeling that being a little inappropriate I quickly stop. "God I'm like him aren't I?" He says out of the blue "what? No what do you mean?" I cough shocked "like Walter, I'm exactly like him. I react in rage!" Clay states and sits up properly. "No, Clay your nothing like him and never will be, he may be your father by blood but he never brought you up, your better than him!" I snap "I'm really sorry about all the things I said, I didn't mean them I was just so upset" he reply's full of guilt. My expression softens "see Walter would never apologise for something he did wrong" he smiles "thank you - for everything" he says warmly, he gets up and starts putting some things that aren't broken back where they belong.

"I don't like feeling responsible for my bosses, mothers safety, do you reckon he will give in and hand me over?" He asks numbly "no he wouldn't, I won't let him anyway" I declare. "But he has your mum you can see her again if I just go" "he wants you permanently on their side and there's no guarantee he won't pull another stunt, just stay safe we will try and work this out the best way possible" I explain. I get up and help clay tidy up his caravan.

After an hour of riding and fixing the few things we could I was starving so we ordered a take away and watched a movie in his surprisingly not broken tv. Half way through the third movie I hear Clays light snores from next to me, I can't help but smile at his innocent face - well as innocent as he can be, bless him. "Florence?" I hear and nearly jump out of my skin, when I realise it's not Clay speaking to me my eyes dart towards the door to see Seb standing there, his black mac wet from the rain. As much as I've been here I've never had more than a few minutes worth of conversation with Sebastian. "Oh hey," I say after a long pause, I must have been so engrossed into, well staring at Clay I didn't hear the door open. "I thought you might be here" he says shifting on his feet "Claytons asleep should I wake him up for you?" I ask a hit awkwardly, the room is dimly lit so I can barely see his features change "no, no I actually wanted to speak to you, you weren't in your caravan so I assumed you'd be here," he explains "oh, is everything alright?" I ask a bit nervously now. "I know your getting close to Clay so I just wanna warn you..." he begins and Clay starts to stir and turns around "should we go in there?" Seb asks in barely a whisper, "yeah okay" I reply wearily and slowly get up from under the blanket.

Me and Seb go into the bathroom and I flick the light on "you were saying..." I get impatient at his stalling, he said he was warning me, but about what?