locker | jongsang

5 [e]

Today was the day Yeosang has been waiting for for about 3 weeks. The day when he would finally upload his cover with Jongho to his youtube channel. He never thought that clicking a few buttons he was way too familiar with would give him this much anxiety. Not only was he doing a collab with someone he didn't know for that long but the song was also a risky choice. Despite his shaky hands, he opened Twitter and posted a little announcement for his followers. 

Yeosang had to admit to himself that the quality of his cover was pretty good for someone who made them rarely. He asked Hongjoong to mix everything together so he really just had to edit the video but he still felt a sense of pride. Jongho was sent the final video a few hours before the initial release date and responded with a bunch of excited keyboard smashes, so the older just assumed he liked it. 

Once the clock hit 3pm, Yeosang knew the video went live since he had scheduled it some time earlier. After he noticed the views coming in rapidly, he thought that maybe he would need to reply to some comments or at least read them simply to show he was grateful but he couldn't bring himself to do so.

Despite being a youtuber for quite some time now, Yeosang still didn't know everything and he certainly didn't know how to deal with negative comments or obsessive fans. He never thought he would have to learn though, and he certainly didn't expect that one video would start an internet drama. 

Trying not to think about any of it, Yeosang put his phone away and went to his shelf to pick a book to read. He hasn't touched anything on this shelf for a while and dust had settled on pretty much every single item on it. He felt guilty for letting it get so messy but he didn't really have the time to devote to reading anymore. School has been consuming most of his time and if he had any left, he either spent it editing videos in advance or running errands which mostly consisted of responding to emails and arranging brand deals. Yeosang essentially stopped doing what he enjoyed because he started to have so many responsibilities. It's not that he didn't enjoy youtube but he sometimes wished he had never started his channel. 

At some point during the year Yeosang put a screen time limit on all his devices but quickly had to disable it in fear he will miss something important once the time runs out. He started worrying he might be addicted to his phone but quickly threw that thought away to the back of his head, justifying his weird anxiety with the fact that his source of income is online based. 

After the video went up, Jongho messaged Yeosang and to his surprise, the older didn't immediately reply. In fact, he didn't reply at all that day which was weird, considering they spent at least 2 hours per day FaceTiming or simply texting. Yeosang would always have the perfect time to text Jongho too; whenever the younger needed someone to cheer him up, he would get a message that would start a long conversation that always made him feel better. 

Then Jongho realized why Yeosang might've not been responding. After reading the comments on their collab and knowing what the viewers thought, Jongho decided it was totally justifiable if the other simply wanted to avoid them. Most of the opinions were positive and supportive but some were downright hateful and it was clear the person commenting was jealous of Jongho. Many people said it sounded like Yeosang was dedicating the song to the younger and that it felt weird, since he never really mentioned anyone in his posts, especially other youtubers. In fact, he has never made a collab with anyone. That led people to speculate things Jongho didn't even want to think about. 

He had to admit he never thought that Yeosang might've been dedicating the song to him. Jongho heard the final version multiple times to make sure it was perfect but he never caught the older implying anything of that sort. He was just more emotional in that video than he usually was but Jongho thought it was because of the song choice in general, not because of his presence. It couldn't have been because of him after all. 

He then left a comment under the video, thanking Yeosang for the collab. After reading the comment multiple times after posting it, he decided it seemed like the the video didn't mean much to him since the language he used was quite formal but he just had to get rid of any suspicions his followers could have. In reality a simple cover meant way too much, at least to Jongho. 

Jongho was more than surprised to suddenly receive a message from Wooyoung of all people since they didn't really talk that often anymore since the older just never replies to his texts on time so they aren't ever able to start a continuous conversation. 

You got a new message from wooyoung!

wooyoung:  where did you go?

Jongho rubbed his eyes a few times and reread the message multiple times to make sure what he seeing was correct. The text was in English, which he wasn't fluent in, so he had to help himself with a translator to understand what the text said. After he did so, he was even more confused than before. Why would Wooyoung be asking him where he went if they didn't even see each other recently and were in two completely different cities. 

Jongho: you have two choices
1) you are pranking me
2) actually i don't know

wooyoung: wait-
Omg sorry Jongho, wrong #

Jongho: I guessed
Who was this supposed to be sent to?

wooyoung: no one important

Jongho: Woo, i know you're lying.
You better tell me

wooyoung: fine
It was a friend that I'm doing a project with

Jongho: alright, thanks
Could we talk though?

wooyoung: I'd love to but it's legit 7:30am and I'm not thinking straight. Sorry

Jongho: um Woo it's 12:30am

wooyoung: oh right sorry-

He was hiding something, Jongho just knew it but he didn't want to pressure Wooyoung into telling him the truth.  As stupid as it may sound, he wanted the other to tell him himself. After all, his parents always told him that he should let people realize their mistakes on their own, without the unnecessary pressure from their surroundings. He just hoped Wooyoung would not be an exception to this rule and eventually send him a full explanation. 

Author's Note (200201)

Hey so guess who finished editing this chapter after like a month of struggling. Hope the changes actually made it better haha. Thank you so much for the continuous support and if you feel like asking me something about the book or you want to become friends, message me on Instagram at kas_mer_, so basically same username as on here.