seeing the ocean floor from the stars

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The sky ripped open my eyes

I hold its blue in my mind


Tired but afraid to sleep

To wake up and choke

To cry again for nothing


Routine but unpredictable 


Why bother wiping my eyes

If tears do nothing but flood



A new day of pain

A new night of nothing


Perhaps the end is near

It could all be over soon


Or maybe we've got a while

And well have to fight again

A few hours or years

What difference does it make?


I love you i say

But to who?

Is it a compliment 

Or a curse?


Sorry I'm not a good kisser

You make me want to write love poems


Don't expect me to smile

At your torn up mind,


Like teddy bears they play with us

Ferocious beasts reduced to toys


Dressed as a sheep

Fangs beard underneath

Angry, Angry, Angry. 


Only now they see it

I've been angry a while

Why do they see it now?


I'm not angry


I don't know how I feel right now

But I've been angrier in front of them

Can no one see how I feel but me?

Are feelings really so confusing to the outside eye?


All I want is joy

For my friends and myself


Tears 

Tears

They fall so soft

They are screamed

They are silent

They are shed in the bathroom

Of your own house.

They are shed 

While you're supposed to be sleeping


Not a goodbye 

But not quite a hello


What keeps you up at night?

Seeing stars from the ocean floor

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