Memories of Him

Chapter 1: The Cross

Once again I walked through the broken world that I used to wonder so freely, the buildings and roads destroyed almost as if a freak of nature had grabbed the ends of the world and shaken it, like one would with a flat duvet leaving the land decimated at its wake. Nothing had broken my stride for months now finding myself accustomed to what was left of the world but for some reason this scene caught my eyes, taking me off guard making my feet halt as I stared off at the heap that was so carelessly thrown against the wall at least what's left of it.

I didn't know the women but I knew she definitely didn't deserve what she got it. That doesn't make her special though, not in this world all kinds of people die out here, the innocent are just casualties of a new world, a world they couldn't adapt to. The glinting metal around her neck gave me comfort, the heavy cross at least offering her comfort as her life was squashed out of her, painting the brickwork behind. Maybe her faith would offer her solace in her last moments, the idea of someone shepherding her to a fate better than this one, that all of Gods testing had been for something but me, I didn't find comfort in this. I knew the person who stripped this world of everything, watched as everything was destroyed around them if god made a man like him to test our faith for some divine trip I don't think I want to share my afterlife with him. I find more comfort believing that there is nothing, that the last thing I'll see is the white light but it won't be divine, no, just a chemical reaction that takes place while the brain shuts down. She may find comfort that there is something more, a prize at the end of the messed up maze we call life but me... I find comfort believing that this isn't simply a test.

Kneeling down my knee lightly sinking into the puddle left by last night's rainfall, the once transparent liquid coloured red by the cruelty of this world, I looked into her eyes, a soft blue that must have looked so vibrate once. Her face not even fazed by her violent death only showing peace and contentment, after all she'd been for I'm sure God himself gave her a gift to top all gifts to make what she went through worth it. Reaching up carefully I let my fingers trace the grey skin of her forehead the temperature of her skin cool to the touch, acting as if trying to suck whatever heat it could from me finally the pads of my fingers ran down to her eyelids lightly closing them hiding her from seeing the world, to hide this world from seeing her. I knew Scavengers would pick her body clean in time, her belongings long gone and her cross sold on for one of life's few comforts in this harsh reality, be it alcohol or whatever chemical gives them a buzz these days.

Standing up I reluctantly left her body walking on my boots scuffing on the rough concreate my body too exhausted to even lift the bulky boot fully off of the ground I kept thinking of the women, how she lied there slumped, deep slashes through her body, seeing one of those beasts in the flesh before her yet, lying there, even dead she looked content like she was ready to face whatever was thrown at her, it was admirable.

Is that what religious did, give people the confidence to face these things head on with the knowledge that it was only temporary. I wonder what it was like to have inner peace, knowing at the end of the day no matter what things would be fine that life's struggles meant something instead of just believing the world was a cruel place.

I shake the thoughts off I'm not a religious man I believe in nothing and no one especially not a man in the sky watching our every move testing us. But I still wonder what went through her mind as she stared into the white pits of the creatures eyes, its maw oozing sludge so toxic a bite from the diseased face of an alligator seemed more appealing, its teeth clashing threateningly in her face. Her body aching from the run yet numb from the slashes that ran across her body skilling her organs, another child of god struck down by the retched creatures that shared the same scientific name, Homo sapiens. Cause no matter how deformed they are, however repulsive they looked, however different they seemed... they were human just control by an evil tyrant. Creatures of Satan, maybe that's how she viewed them maybe that's what made her brave enough to stare those monsters in the face, holding that peaceful determined look in defiance to Satan, opposing the man she must have thought caused this rapture knowing that that simple act of defiance would make god stand before her and hold out his hand, a comforting gesture, that told her she was his equal. It almost made me feel bad that I had once spited her religion, cursed its beliefs and mocked those who followed it.

I couldn't help but feel a new found respect for the religion and maybe even other beliefs. But for now I was content believing that there was nothing, that no person above could make the sick and twisted monster who ruined this world and purged it for their own enjoyment, I still remember the giddy stare they held as they stared me down, the crooked smirk that taunted me as the world around their form shattered leaving the wreckage that stretched before me today.

The memories reminding me why I started this journey of revenge. It was that adoring smile those dark eyes his face practically flashing before my eyes nothing more than a distant memory but it still held a level of comfort, it was a face I'd never see like that again. But even so it pushed my wiry body forward, made me walk with a purpose no matter how callused and blistered my feet were, how shaky and numb my muscles felt, I'd push on. But even so the discomfort still slowed me down, the constant jolts of the pavement setting my nerves ablaze with discomfort, I knew that no matter how determined I felt inside I could only go as far as my body would let me.

Cursing myself for notsleeping that night I changed my search away from the vile human who causedthis onto a place where I could rest. But that was a mission in itself, thebuildings that once stood strong looming over me now rested as rubble nothingbut a shell of what they once were, finding a place to rest wasn't going to beeasy, but I didn't have the time to be picky, by night those creatures prowledbeing caught unawares and exhausted in itself, was a death sentence. Then againby day scavengers swept the land nothing more than Magpies latching onto thefirst shiny thing they could grasp in their mitts. Between the killing machinesand the buzzards, I'd rather tangle with the birds. With time working againstme and only solace being that I wouldn't run into those creatures I turnedstarting to scale the rubble. Metal poles of rebar stuck out of the concreateready to scape against the fragile wall of cells, wanting to rip them apart,exposing me to the dirt and grime of this world, my shoes gripping onto thelayers of concreate, a thick layer of dust coating them making my shoes slideevery so lightly with every step of the climb. The dust covered my hands like alayer of chalk but unlike my shoes it only served to make my grip stronger. Myeyes scanned across the top of the rubble as I climbed looking for a cubby holeto crawl inside and rest. It had been days since the buildings collapsed if thespaces hadn't collapsed by now I doubt they will tonight, but it did little tocomfort me.