Step by step, I start down the stairs. When I hear Amnesia playing, I swallow my heart, and it drops to my stomach. I love them. The living room was silenced, besides my boys singing; I wish that I could wake up with Amnesia, and forget about the stupid little things.
It reminds me of Austin. My sweet, sweet, painful Austin. Why is this so painful? How am I supposed to forget about him? I love him.
Leaving the carpet, I saunter into the kitchen, where my feet meet the ice cold tile. The table has a small blue cake with the numbers one and seven in the wrong order. The fuck? I just absolutely love the effort put into this. My dad's drunk, holding a bottle, and passed out on the couch. Next to my brother. He doesn't give a shit. One, he's too into his dumb ass video game, and my dad's done this our whole lives. But my birthday? My seventeenth? Well fuck. I can feel a tear coming on. My face is hot. Fuck it. My mom can make it better. Don't let them see me cry.
When my mom walks out from the bathroom, her face is puffy, and her mascara lays on her cheeks, instead of her eyes. Bruises and blood align the rest of her. My fucking dad beat her. She's so beautiful!! Why the fuck would he do that?? I admire her. Even with all the bull shit she goes through she still smiles. I want to be like her. Fuck my dad. He can suffer in hell for all I care. Who does he think he is?
Quivering, she takes 3 steps towards me, hands me what looks like a ticket, and falls over. A loud SMACK! fills the room. My dad still asleep, Drew, my brother, leaps off the couch with a blank cold look on his face. He reaches for the phone, and struggles to dial the three simple numbers. I'm going to be sick.
My entire face is starting to heat up like a fire. Is my makeup keeping me from looking like a ghost? I'm so terrified, I probably could be confused with a piece of paper. I'm so dizzy....my heart is playing the drums. Everything around me looks as if I'm staring through a coffee straw. The faint sound of my brother mumbling in the phone shakes my entire world, and the sight of my mom on the ground tears it down.
The next thing I know, men in white disturb the ringing in my ears. They're asking me questions. But all I can do is stare. Two of them lift my mom on the gourney as the others help me and my brother to the ambulance. One by one, the medics pile in. Before the heavy metal doors come to a close, I catch a glimpse of more men fighting my dad to get him in the patrol car in front of my house. What used to be Amnesia, was now The Only Reason. As we speed up the street, these lyrics circle my brain,
Tell me, is it even worth it?
Looking for a straight line
Taking back the time we can't replace.
