The fact of waking up everyday and convincing myself it will be a good day
And that I won't want to cry is reality. Maybe not for everyone I know but my reality is self inflicting to were it hurts worse than cutting and deeper than the ocean, but I'm a wimp o can't cut,, blood makes me sick and I'm inspected by everyone, even my parents and if they saw even a mark on me it would be "who is bullying you" and "you need counciling more than we thought" because they'd never know it was their fault for yelling and blaming me, they know I can't deal with pressure let alone myself. one time I got mad and used crayon up and down my legs insteAd of a knife, when my parents saw it was yelling but I had no voice, if I talk back I'll be hurt even worse. I push everyone away, my friends know barely anything about me, and they complain about their life and how horrible they are and it pisses me off so that I ignore them becUse they know it bothers me but.. they yell at me to, I'm a total push over , whatever they command I do, I'm blonde and stupid because I'm used to being looked down upon and I'll never be thought of highly
YOU ARE READING
Behind myself
RandomThis is like my personal diary and if you read this it's because I've ACTUALY published this and everyone will see what's behind me...my darkest fears! And so please don't take any of this personally like how my life is so fucked up its perfect comp...
