Heaven under the bridge

Genderfilled love...

Below the bridge, a dip into heaven. Where the angels fly. Where love is blind and man is kind. When must I go forth to the place where I am of worth. When must I be loved.

Otto looked around at his surroundings for the last time. Seems only yesterday their first day of kindergarten. The sixteen years have been and gone. Otto can only reflect on what he remembers of his Rudiger.

When the facist state took a hold of his best friend. Preventing them from their meetings. Still they met beneath the very bridge where Otto stands. Beneath the bridge stilts and river. A river deep enough to drown. The stilts on land would be where Rudiger would reside during this time of purge. Otto would never understand the pain of getting your family torn away by brown coats, to be the lone survivor of sixteen years of age. Otto stole many things for Rudiger. Food, clothes, books but none of his gifts could bring back a family. Almost a year Rudiger spent under these stilts through rain and illness. Before he was stripped away from the only thing he had left Otto.

Ottos father was no man of pity. He was disgusted to find that his sons best friend was one not to be trusted. Ottos father believed highly in the leader. The one to bring peace and justice to their land. Otto told many a lie to his father. After the passing of his mother there was no family in the house of Gebbort only a man and a boy. Once Otto was almost caught escaping to see Rudiger but blamed it on a migraine. If Ottos father even found out about Rudiger not in a camp he would blame Otto. Tears fell from ottos face as he remembered the cruel times in which were filled with his fathers punishment. Unspeakable actions were used as a punishment form for Otto. The perfect child in anyone elses eyes, but to his father Otto should've been the deceased in the car crash in which Otto last saw his mother.

The crashing waves beneath the bridge made Otto wonder what lurks yonder the mist of morning. Drawing him back to beloved times where him and his Rudiger. His Rudiger. If only he'd get to say that to a living member. Otto had a secret. He was none like the other boys. A disgrace to his father if he knew. No one knew. Not even Rudiger. All the time Otto spent with Rudiger made him come to the awakening that he was in love with Rudiger. If anyone was to ever find out Otto would be dead. He'd be taken by the brown coated men. Shaved at his head and left to rot with a burn mark of a number. The number he would live and die by. Otto thought of Rudigers eyes how deep and brown they were. How they felt like his coffee in the morning. The love he felt for another man would bring shame to his family.

"There's a place for us". Otto thought vibrantly imagining his love never knowing if the feeling could be mutual. "Someday there will be somewhere where we can be in peace. For love conquers the desire for dictatorship among mankind. Someday I'll buy a big house where we both could live. Someday we'll go together. Someday the sun will shine again. That someday may not be for us Rudiger, but I feel that somethings coming." Otto shed a tear at the thought of a better world. With no brown coats, no red sleeves, No leader. Just man in peace.

The water below Otto lapped on the shore. The water a cold blue clouded with regret and solemness. The water looked so unhealthily appealing to Otto. He knew where he must go. A place where him and Rudiger could live in peace. Only in heaven can love be love. A world without Rudiger is no world. With the thought of his love at his side Otto took the steps. The steps to his love. The steps to a better place.

The fatal steps to what shouldn't have been done, but a necessity to the sixteen year old boy. Today was the loss of lovers. The loss of life. The loss of a chance to change the world that needed changing. But one step towards change. The change to a better world. Where love is blind. Where people are kind. Where angels fly. Just a dip into heaven.