In Too Deep

Five

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Weekends were Nova's favorite. Not because she had those days to herself, but because she got to spend time at her friend's house. She met Jessica Dane when Jess moved into the neighborhood from Seattle three years ago. She had run away from her abusive boyfriend and found comfort in Portland.

Jess was a teacher who lived with her five-year-old daughter, Mal. Mal's father wasn't in the picture, and Nova never asked her what had happened between them because it seemed to be a sore topic for Jess.

Anyone who looked at Jess would give her another glance. She was petite and cute with large blue eyes, beautiful features, dimples to kill for and shiny, dark hair. She was gorgeous and looked like one of those women whose face would stay young, leaving the rest of us old and wrinkly.

"You're looking better," Jess said as she chopped green peppers onto a cutting board and used the knife to wipe them into a bowl and started on the onions.

Nova ignored the smothered laugh that came from her friend. Her brows arched upward and her hands drawing patterns on the island, she murmured, "Compared to when?"

"You know what I'm talking about." Jess eyed her with an all-knowing smile. "You were a bit distant and jumpy. I thought you were doing drugs." She rinsed a tomato under a tap.

Nova laughed. "Where will I even get drugs from?"

"I don't know. Where do people get drugs?" Shaking her head at Nova, a mixture of amusement and earnestness in her voice, she ended, "But seriously, I'm glad you're better now. Was it a guy?"

She watched her opened the refrigerator. "Well..."

"So it was a guy!" Jess looked back at her with raised eyebrows, as though she could not believe the evidence of her own ears that Nova had started seeing someone without telling her. "Who was it? Is he your boyfriend? How come you didn't tell me about him?!"

"He isn't my boyfriend," Nova corrected, giving the impression that as far as she was concerned, the last thing she would ever do was date Ghost. It was an upsetting thought. "Trust me, he isn't the sort of person you can date." Or be friends with.

"So, one night stand?" she asked, a look of deep interest on her face.

she shrugged. "Not really." Irrationally, Nova felt even more annoyed. She didn't get what Ghost was to her but giving it a name was too intimate. And she wanted to feel justified in disliking him because he had done nothing to make her like him. "It's hard to explain." She drummed her fingers on the island.

"Are you still together?"

"Noooo. We have to have been dating to be together, Jess. But he's completely out of the picture now."

Jess continued to cut the vegetables without looking up. "I don't know why you're so scared to date anyone."
Nova was genuinely unable to answer the question for herself, though she had been asking it for a few months now. She added with a sigh, "I've had worst experiences with men, but I'm still willing to give dating a shot. Although, every time I meet someone and I tell them about Mal, they don't call again."

"Men can be dicks."

"They're just scared because they aren't ready for that kind of responsibility, I guess. I had Mal when I was nineteen. I didn't think I would keep her, but I'm glad my parents supported me in raising her. I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I had given her away."

Jess was a good person, and so was Mal. She had the smartest kid Nova had ever seen. Mal liked everything; she was an adventurous kid who loved exploring new things and learning about things most kids were not interested in knowing. Unfortunately, she wasn't popular in her class.