//myōōzik//
vocal or instrumental sounds (or both) combined in such a way as to produce beauty of form, harmony, and expression of emotion
(he listens to music to block out the voices.)
Written by @solo_17
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bakugo POV
it's 04:30 and i still haven't been able to sleep. i can't sleep, who can sleep, right? it's to stressful, everything that can go wrong, the voices in your head, every possibility that could come true. who knows what could happen at night?
i decide to get up at 05:30 and get ready for school. i get out of my "bed", which is really just a blanket with holes, and go to my "dresser" which is basically just my clothes neatly folded and stacked. i grab my UA uniform and go into the bathroom to change the bandages that are covering the blood flowing from my cuts. of course the blood has stopped flowing by now, but it still hurts.
i quickly wrap the bandages making sure they're still firmly in place before taking off my pjs (old sweatpants) and put on my new uniform with new boxers and everything. i do my morning bathroom routine and i go to brush my hair, i look in the mirror.
your so fat, look at you. your so fucking ugly as well.
i stop looking in the mirror as i start to brush out my hair with my brush. i quickly finish and brush my teeth as well, before grabbing my razors, pocket knife, bandages and school bag, along with my phone and earbuds.
i start listening to understand by Josh A & iAmJakeHill. i quietly hum to the lyrics as i walk to school, it's a 45 minute walk to school. it's cold outside, i forgot to bring my jacket so i started to use my quirk to heat me up. it's a useful quirk, but at the same time, it's a nightmare. if i activate it at all at home, it's a beating.
i get closer to school, listening to more and more songs to quiet the voice. music... it helps a lot. i don't know how i'd live without music.
i get up to the gates which on top of them have a big U and A. i walk through said gates and walk along the cement to the building. i keep listening to music, it's needed; essential.
i walk up to the building gates and quietly say, "okay..." and then walk in. i pass all the classrooms, some have a few kids but most have none, it is only 07:12 so i guess that makes sense. i walk into my class as normal and sit in my seat looking out the window, listening to nursery by bbno$ & lentra. it's a stupid song, just a bunch of nurseries put into a rap song, it's a good song though.
i continue listening to music until the bell rings, when it does so, it's basically screaming at the voices in my head to come out and degrade me more than i already do to me.
i put my phone and earbuds in my pocket as i put my hands in my lap and my legs are kinda crossed but under my seat. with my feminine figure, it's not as awkward than if i had a masculine figure. more and more kids come into class and sit in their seat. i have izuku sitting in front of me, he calls me kacchan but i know he sees me as a less than. then next to me on my right is a boy with half red half white hair, i don't know his name, nor anyone else. i don't intend on making friends. i intend on making it through the year, but i don't think i will... see i'm suicidal if you haven't figured it out, as well as depressed and i have anxiety, both of those are just living hells, especially together. you never know whether to care to much, but if you do then you start to not care at all. like i don't know if someone will break in, i'm to worried about it but at the same time why would i care? with suicide, it's even worse because that just makes you more depressed because you can't make up your god damn mind about being worried; a simple emotion.
the bell rings and everyone is in class now, maybe not taken a seat or quieted down which i appreciate. it doesn't do much, but it kinda quiets it, just not like music. sensei walks in and everyone rushes to their seats, "it took you 8 seconds to quiet down. in order to be hero's, you will need to work faster and be quieted down BEFORE i come in the classroom, this is a warning; your one and only." the class nods their heads and sensei continues on teaching.
your a dumbass who can't do shit. you can't even focus in class, you should be writing down all these notes if you wanna have a 0.0001 percent chance of making it to be a big shot. i think i have you to much credit actually—
i coughed... I COUGHED! everyone has their eyes and heads towards me. i immediately put my head on my desk and my arms covering it, as well as my legs crossed and out under my chair. tears poke from my eyes and everything gets blurry and watery. a tear drops onto my paper and then another onto the floor.
~time skip to lunch~
i walk out of the class with my backpack on my back, on both shoulders. i put in my earbuds and listen to music, tired heart by bmike. i like bmike, all his songs are so relatable and honestly kinda nice. (some of his most popular are anxiety and baby don't cut) i walk up the few stair cases needed to reach my destination.
i find one of the benches that lay on the roof and sit on it. i take out my book, drawing book that is, and draw just random little flowers that fall in the whisps of the wind, along with the tree top and roof building at the bottom of the page and near the horizon line.
a few kids come up, they're just random kids from the class like hagakure, sato, and tokoyami. they do something undespicible though... they pulled out my earbuds stopping my music from being heard and laughed... THEY TOOK OUT MY FUCKING MUSIC! i'm fine with them taking advantage of me, NOT my fucking music.
i get up and punch one of them in the face saying, "GIVE ME MY FUCKING EARBUDS ASSHOLE!" they just all run off with my earbuds. i don't realize it, but i'm crying. tears hit my hand when i realize it, i quickly wipe them away, getting up and grabbing my stuff.
crybaby crybaby waaaaa
no music? you don't deserve it anyway
listen to us
kill you self
take this opportunity to do it
no one will care
before i knew it i was half way off the railing, i'm sitting on it.
i jump...
i don't die...
someone grabbed my hand and pulled me up. they put me in their lap and started crying.
'crying... why...?'
"d-don't ever do that again, bakugo..."
i recognize that voice; the boy who sits next to me. "why? no one cares. i should listen to the voice and just take the opportunity." i said, almost sounding emotionless.
"people do care..."
"who?"
"me..."
"anyone else?"
"..."
"exactly, one persons opinion won't stop me."
i try to go back over to the railing to jump off but before i can even get out of his grasp, he wrapped me in a hug.
my heart is pounding...
WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!
i-i mean my heart always pounds around him, but i never thought... no way. i don't like him, i know it. just because i've always wanted to get to know him, play with his hair, cuddle with him, talk to him, DOESN'T mean i like him, right?
whatever, i don't like him.
{ 1360 Words }
