Dreamers- A Merome, Pooflan, Wroetostar and Minizerk Story

⋖Chapter 22⋗

Simon's P.O.V.

My body was weak, riddled with what I now knew was cancer. We hadn't had a word for it before now but now I knew, and it was killing me. I knew my last days were closing in. Exhaustion and fatigue set in hard and I had a need to sleep most of the time, curled up on Josh's lap or beside Harry. He was still ill as well, not much better than I was.

I had lost a lot of weight over the months, ever since I had first noticed that I was sick, and now with all the time I spent resting my muscles had thinned to the point they almost disappeared. I no longer had an appetite and I had difficulty swallowing water. My hair continued to fall out in clumps to the point where I had bald patches and little wisps of hair in areas. I had no interest in doing anything.

The only person I wanted to see was Josh. I didn't want the company of others, I wanted to leave and go home. But Josh was busy, explaining how to farm, the cycles and what tools to use to Jerome and Mitch and Rob and Preston, the others too unfocused or hyperactive to learn it so quickly and after all, they could learn it later.

I wanted to go home, and he knew it. He was preparing for it.

---------------------------------------------------

Dawn was almost breaking, the first rays of light creeping over the horizon, when Josh stirred me from my sleep. He gave me a soft smile as his arms sidled around my waist to bring me to my feet- I couldn't stand or walk on my own so if we wanted to do this, he would practically have to carry me.

"Ready Si?" He whispered, a single backpack slung over his shoulders. I nodded, silent. "It's time to go home."

We had decided this in the middle the night, exhausted words, some of my final words, and my final wish. I knew I was dying, I knew I didn't have very long to live and if I was going to die I wanted it to be on the land I had grown up on, the land I had known so well. When I died I wanted to be buried at home.

We had just begun to walk when a soft voice called out for us, a soft, sleepy voice.

"Si? Josh?" The voice slurred and I turned- Lachlan was sitting up on one elbow between Preston and Rob, barely able to see us in the dim light. He was only half conscious.

"Go back to sleep Lachy..." Josh whispered, setting me back down for a moment to go over to the boy. "Si isn't feeling well, that's all."

Careful not to disturb the two sleeping boys either side of him, he stepped over Preston and Rob and crouched down beside the young blonde, running a hand through his hair.

"Just go to sleep, we'll be back in a bit." He whispered, continuing his gentle movements until Lachlan yawned and settled back down. "Sleep tight."

He moved away after a moment and came back over to me, sighing. His arm tightened around me again.

"I feel bad for lying but I'd rather he didn't stop us." He mumbled, taking one last glance back at him. He was fast asleep again. "God... I wish I could say goodbye."

I didn't have the strength to talk but instead I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his lips. I wanted to say goodbye to them as well but we couldn't, not if we would risk them stopping us returning to where I wanted to die. I didn't doubt they didn't understand my desire to take my last breath there.

I just wanted to go home and finally, I would be able to.

----------------------------------------------------

"There it is." Josh whispered just as dawn broke, three days after we had left the clearing. We had walked basically nonstop, or at least Josh had because he had essentially carried me, but I was glad to finally be back to the place I knew and loved.

It had been a little over a month, maybe, since we had left and although the earth was still scorched and the trees were still blackened, new life was beginning to grow. Green was peeking in between the black earth and as I sat down beside the twisted remain of our shelter, our home, despite the destruction, I felt peaceful.

Josh sat down beside me and his arm tightened around my shoulder, a comforting gesture. We sat in silence as the dawn rays peeked up over the hills in the distance until Josh finally spoke up, his voice soft.

"You know, when I said I wanted something more I didn't mean like this." He whispered, a gently hand running over my head. He came away with a handful of hair and I looked away, but by then I had long accepted it.

"You were always a dreamer Josh." I laughed hoarsely. "But I think you knew it would never happen."

"I did." He sighed. "But... meeting up with the other guys, with Harry and Vikk and then everyone else, it gave me the feeling that maybe it would happen. They're always so open to everything, they wanted to learn how to farm and Lachy and Rob know plants so easily. Together we could have done something."

"Maybe. Maybe if I hadn't gotten sick, maybe if Harry hadn't gotten sick." I mumbled. "Just... maybe if it had been different."

"Don't think about it like that Si, there's nothing any of us could've done. This is the way it is."

"I guess." I said with a smile. "I've accepted it because I know there's nothing to be done."

Josh leaned over and pressed another kiss to my lips, which were dry and cracked.

"I love you Simon, always remember that."

"I love you too Josh." I whispered back. "And I always, always will."