Step Down

. ᴛ н ʀ ᴇ ᴇ .

Disclaimer: I do not own any members of CKY, H.I.M or Jackass. I do not own any lyrics used unless otherwise noted. This is a work of fiction.

I learned the guys are filming for the MTV show 'Viva La Bam'. Them telling me that confirmed that I do indeed know these guys from where I originally thought. It sounded like they had a lot of fun and I would love to be part of it.

Finally, I had my house set up the exact way I wanted it to be. I also made good friends with all of the guys at the castle as well as Dunn's girlfriend Angie. She's really laid back and understands the guys' lifestyle. And although she accepts it, she doesn't much care for it so she doesn't come around all that much.

- - -

Today I'm hanging at Bam's riding ATVs with everyone. We're tearing up the entire side yard when I saw April coming outside to the fence with her cell phone held out. "Bam! Phone!" She screamed.

Bam rode up to her and stopped, grabbing the phone and talking briefly before slamming it back shut and giving it back to April. He then gave it some gas and threw mud all over her. I couldn't help but laugh, even though I know she was beyond pissed off.

"Hey, fuckers! Listen up! Slayer is coming and I invited them to stay here instead of paying for a hotel. They'll be here in 25 hours which means all hell is going to break loose! The Pirate Bar isn't anywhere near finished and it has to be done before they get here! Plus I have to get Vito's fat ugly ass a date for this thing!" Bam yelled at everyone.

We all got off the ATVs and went inside to try and get his house ready for fucking Slayer.

Only Bam, Dunn, April and I stayed inside the house to try and get it all set up. We went into one of the spare rooms that was still painted a light lavender color and had a hideous rug in the middle of the room. Other than that, the room was empty.

"Get this ugly fucking thing out of here!" Bam told April as she tried to defend how nice and expensive it was. Dunn, covered in mud, stood on it and so did Bam.

"Get off the damn rug!" April yelled, trying to push them. Dunn then started jumping up and down, causing mud to fall all onto the rug. "You assies! Get off the rug!"

Then we busted out laughing loudly. "What kind of word is 'assie'?" Bam laughed so hard he fell down and took Dunn with him.

After Glomb arrived, he put us all to work; so no more fucking around. Bam said that him and Dunn were going to go shower together since they were both covered in mud. I shook my head hoping they weren't serious.

My task was to call everyone in the phone book to invite them to the party/concert. We then all started fixing up that spare room and Glomb build a half pipe in it. Bam was then jealous that he didn't have one in his room so of course, he got what he wanted.

After that was done, it was time to do the Pirate Bar. I came up with some awesome ideas that Bam loved, but April wasn't going for it. I mean, it was Bam's house so he could do whatever he wanted anyway.

The plan was going horribly so far. It didn't really seem like the amount of work that needed to be done could be completed in this time frame.

Dico started throwing random objects at me, so I started throwing them back but with more force. "Holy shit, woman. You're gonna poke my eye out!" He screamed as a fork barely missed his face.

Raab carried in three boards and then laid down on them to take a nap. Lazy fucker.

All of a sudden, we heard Vito's voice screaming and echoing through the house. "Oh, great." I said under my breath. I wasn't a huge fan of Vito. Sure, he was funny. But the guy stinks and has no shame about anything at all.