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Safety, it's a funny word. That's what I look for, that's what I've found...from others at least from hurt. It's gone but I still have fear, fear of myself and what I'm willing to do. I wasn't always like this. I can still laugh and feel happy, but she's always there, nagging trying to claw her way through the cracks of my facade. I hide the pain the suffering, I feel the happiness...or at least what's left.

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