Scenes that happend in school

Something i remember

TRIGGER WARNING!

When i was in 6th grade, i switched 5th period and 4th period classes because of bullying but it went worse, since almost every single people in 4th period science were dickheads and were throwing pencils, insulting me and calling me names (they called me ugly, asked me why am I here and so much shit and they were distracting me from doing my work) and i was blurting out cusswords but the teacher let me go since i was being teamed up, i went home, not wanting to go back, i wanted to kill myself for not trying to stand up but i was afraid that I'll be the one to blame because there was this time when i got bullied, i yelled at the dickhead back but then i got scolded and i tried to tell the teacher that the dickhead started it but i still got blamed on. I did try to tell the teacher and principal but they didn't do anything so i just felt hopeless, just wanting to make this stop. I felt like i was so useless..... I felt like i should've just killed myself.... I felt like no one cared about me but i knew it wasn't true but i had that in my mind, voices in my head said it but it wasn't true. I tried hanging myself with a jump rope but i couldn't find anything to hang. It still hurts me till this day and if anything related happens like this to me, i will freak out, it hurts so bad that i can't even think, even if i try.