Short story collection

Memory lane...

                  Do you miss him Nidhi?? Her friend nudged her on the shoulder again.

Nidhi stood there, glued her eyes on the stage, where a beautiful family stood with bright smiles on their faces. Their eyes shined with pride n happiness as they faced the gathered crowd.

Nidhi was attending her best friend's wedding and was so happy that her own naughty girl is getting married to her childhood sweetheart with all the traditional ceremonies and all the fun of an Indian wedding.

Nidhi Kavya and Varsha the famous trio was inseperable throughout their college life and till date they maintained their friendship even though each of them separated their ways. They stood for each other and became each others support whenever they had faced crisis.
Varsha got married last year and they were attending Kavya's wedding today.

          Nidhi was happy , truly happy for her bestie.., but Varsha was asking her a question that both of them knew, was something she always avoided and struck a chord which still held the power to burst her walls and open the little girl inside her crumble and cry.

'Do you miss your Dad Nidhi??
I am asking you something... when did you turn deaf and mute ?' Varsha chided her again.

Do I miss my Dad?. She asked herself.
If this question was asked by someone she barely knew, she would have given her ready made answer with a fake practiced smile that she doesn't miss him anymore since he wasn't there for her in the first place..
But Varsha knew her too well that she could differ her fake smiles from the real ones.

Nidhi tried to think again without looking away from the beautiful family Infront of her eyes.
As she pondered the question again, her mind filled with a myriad of other thoughts...all related to her dad.

      Unlike her fake answer, her dad has been there for her , he loved holding her little hands in his large palm and told her stories of his childhood while they took a stroll in their own garden.
She saw the world through his eyes first. He was the happiest person on earth when she draw a picture of him and wrote his name in big imperfect letters. He accompanied her to school every day, he attended every single program,  in which little Nidhi performed and she loved him with all her heart.
It was a perfect life for Nidhi with her loving dad and mom and her little sister Nithya till her dad died leaving her perfect family in dismay and shambles.

        She still remembered that day vividly.
It was raining when they took her dad away. Her mom was in shock and Nithya was too little to know what had happened to their dad. Nidhi had cried whole day that her eyes literally hurt and until she was sure there's no more tears left to flow.
As the days passed, Nidhi slowly realised that their lives won't be same anymore. She needed to man up and there's no space for weakness and tears..the mere thought was enough for her to stop crying over something, that would never come back to her life.
          It took her some time to come in terms with her dad's absence in her life. But slowly she accepted it and she learnt to live again holding her mom's and Nithya's hand and giving strength to each other. The little girl grew up overnight because that's how she learnt to live. She became the strong and reliable person for her mom and Nithya that she locked away the little Nidhi who still wanted her dad back , somewhere inside her, that she forget all about her...unless she is seeing these happy family pictures right before her eyes.

Mostly she avoided such situations but right now she knows why Varsha was rebuking her.
Nidhi couldn't take her eyes off from Kavya's perfect family.
The way her dad and elder brother stood beside Kavya and how adoringly they looked at her, how her dad held her hand in his and how lovingly her mom looked at the father daughter duo.
Nidhi could feel a pang of jelousy hitting her soul, her family was perfect too. Long ago, she too had a complete family.
She always neglected the pure feeling of longingness to her dad's love, which was something that she won't be able to enjoy ever again.
How much she pushed away these feelings, it resurfaced at time to time, and the vulnerability it brought along was something she preferred to keep away.
The bold and strong girl, as she had shaped herself into, was anything but vulnerable.
Her dad's memories made her weak, the lonely little girl inside her was everything she feared to face...her insecurities, her angst, her longingness, she avoided them always, which could affect her and her family in a bad way.
So here she was , the bold and beautiful girl who posed herself as someone very strong and independent but deep down she is the same girl who cried till her eyes hurt on her dad's demise.
Nidhi was standing still and the impatient Varsha turned Nidhi towards her.
For a second the locquacious girl was silent , and Nidhi narrowed her eyes towards her bewildered friend.
    
       ' Just accepting your weaknesses doesn't mean you are weak Nidhi...and your love for your dad is not something you should ignore or lock away. Love doesn't make you weak, it is your biggest strength. You became the bold and reliable person, because you never wanted to let your dad down, you want to prove that his little princess is very much capable of taking care of her family . You loved him and you miss him a lot that's why there are tears in your eyes. ' Varsha said with a such a gentleness in her voice that made Nidhi shiver a bit.

Nidhi blinked as the realisation slowly drawn into her. She was crying..the very silent tears made a steady stream through her cheeks and wet her pink lehenga choli creating amorphous shapes of lines and rounds.
          Oddly the salty water from her eyes made her feel free. The very emotion of yearning , she thought as her weakness was met with the realisation that how much she tried to channel her emotions, her dad's memories were always there in the back of her mind.
It strengthened her over the years, it was her protecting shield, her secret weapon. As Varsha pulled her into a tight hug , Nidhi sighed deeply in contentment.
       Varsha lightly patted her back as she knew how Nidhi was feeling and before she pulled away, Nidhi mumbled in her ear..'I miss my Dad each and every second of my life Varsha... because I could never stop loving him'
Nidhi was admitting it herself and it releieved her. When she looked again at the huge stage Infront of her , where the beautiful family stood, Nidhi smiled widely without a trace of  envy underlying her actions and she muttered under her breath
'love you dad, wherever you are...'