possibly

i.

[you could play the music before or after uwu]

we met in number eight.
and i was certain that i should wait.
there are a lot of possibilites when i first entered the room.
i heard a door slammed.
and that's when my eyes first landed on you.

i guess i didn't knew by then
that in that exact moment,
was the first day of my second regret.
the sounds of people gossiping
horrified looks and messages might start all over again.

you were quite different.
and i was quite weird.
and when 8 o' clock striked,
i fell inlove with you.

the room started to become a bit noisy.
but it was silent for me really,
because all i could hear was you.

i thought i was meant to keep you.
because i knew that what i felt in my heart was true.
i couldn't leave you.
even if you had broken me once, twice, or more than what was enough.

but even after all that,
you took care of me
and got rid of my maybe's and probably's.

or so i thought.

i thought it was the end of all the endings.
and my broken bones might mend.
you were there through thick and thin
and with every action you did to hurt me,
all of those ended with forgiveness.
because i thought you would change.
days went by and you chatted with someone pretty on the internet,
it hurt me, it really did.
but you said that you didn't want to hurt her feelings.

so hurting me was okay?

i deserved it, i really did.

and your pride took you over.

and maybe your sister or family didn't like me.
i was about to tell you that whenever we had conversations at 12 am.
maybe that's one of the reasons you left me.
i don't even know why i'm feeling like this
now that i'm getting married.

remember when we both thought we were going to get married?
i never knew it would end this way.
those pointless conversations talking about our future as if we knew what was going to happen,
never planning that you were going to be the one that got away.

i guess he became my escape because even if i tried,
i couldn't hate you.
i couldn't ruin you.
all those things you did to me
like those lies, gossips, and those secrets you spread
i couldn't do it back.
is that how much i loved you?

i still wonder if you ever go and backread all of our messages and look at our pictures.

and believe me when i tell you that everytime i didn't text you, call you, approach you, or even try and tell you to stay.

i almost did.

i almost did.

it's been a few years and i'm surprised that i've moved on.
what i long now is for you to forgive me.
you should not apologize for hurting me and for bringing back my worse fears that i once told you.

losing you,
those gossips,
spreading my secrets,
telling me how much i am the worst person to have met you.

and trust me,

if i could ever have one wish like we used to have at 11:11pm.

i'll go back to the night you texted me.
the day you met me.

get you out of 8 o' clock.

to possibly not make you my regret.
to possibly not make me stay up until 2 am.
to possibly not let you get to know me.
to possibly not ever let me fool myself into thinking you're never going to leave me or break me.
to possibly not think all of the possible things that would've happened.

to possibly not be able to even write this whole story.

it's 8 o' clock again.
it gives me the feeling that i don't love you at all.
as if i'm numb again.
when we meet again,
i hope we'd be happy and we could probably end this feud.
because there are a lot of possibilities life will put us through.
but one of those possibilities is not the possibility of me and you

fin.