What Lies Within

Chapter Two

I'm Lying on the cold floor trying to cover every inch of my body with this thin blanket that you can tell is fighting its hardest just to keep me cold.
"I always thought this blanket was meant to be a weapon instead of a shield, planned by my father just to give me a taste of warmness then leave me starving"
"To torture me."
"Maybe he gave it to me for that purpose only."
"I know i'm right because my father can never do good when it comes to me."
I caught myself talking nonsense again and yes..if you're wondering, out loud! Well..since my father locked me up in here i keep talking with myself out loud unconsciously, maybe it is because i like to pretend  there's someone listening to me or maybe it's because i don't want to forget how to talk, or maybe both.

Actually hearing my voice or any voice soothes me, anything that keeps me out of this quietness and this  loneliness helps, as long as I don't hear silence.

Many people say you can't hear silence but trust me, when you stay in it for as long as I did, you can, because even silence has a voice and that voice scares me.

I keep talking nonsensically to myself until i hear heavy footsteps coming towards the basement, my heart start racing so fast and I can't help but  wonder if He's coming to trick me or treat me.
Is it time for torture or is time for the meal of the week.

My heart skips a beat when the door is slammed open and a face of a monster shows up, my father but although his presence terrifies me I'm relieved to see him holding a glass of water and a little piece of bread in his hand, even if the bread smaller then his palm i still don't care as long as I'll get to eat, I don't remember the last time I ate and to say I'm starving won't be  enough to describe the hunger I feel since I've been thrown in here, it's like my stomach doesn't know the feeling of being full and is dying to do so.

My father throws that piece of bread at me as if I'm a dog and that was a bench, because being the monster that he is likes to see how my eyes keep following the only thing that's going to keep me alive. He takes the chains off my wrists and with fighting the urge the to rub them i put a huge bite of the bread in my mouth like my life depends on it well.. It does depends on it, i chew so angrily while staring at my father and thinking how he will regret the day he was born if only this bread did me some good, 'I hate him' is a three words phrase that will never ever be enough to describe how I feel about him

I loathe him.

"You like it, don't you? little piece of shit you should kiss my feet for feeding you! but this is your birthday cake and I'll forgive you today  because you've been a good girl and every good girl deserves a treat, right?" he bends down to stare at me while he talks with his stinky mouth breath hitting my my nose.

"W-why why a-are you doing this ? I'm your daughter, your own blood! Aren't I ?" I talk hesitantly as this is probably the hundredth time I ask him this question, and yet I never got a proper answer and the only answer I get every time is:

"You're nothing to me."

He says that without moving his eyes from mine which is enough to make me think he can't be more honest, but for some reason I always refuse to believe that and why, You ask ? Well I have no idea myself, but I always say maybe I like the fact that I belong to someone, i mean someone whose blood is in my veins, or that I have a father even if he is a monster but then I punch myself in the face for thinking of such thing and i blame it on the lack of food that is probably effecting me.
"I refuse to be a daughter of a monster."
I correct myself.