Hopelessly Devoted

9

Naruto sat on the opposite side of the table facing Gaara. His father sat next to him and was glancing at him. Naruto turned his head to his father and looked up at him.

"Yes?" He asked. Minato smiled at him. His posture said, how are you and his words said. "Are you late for work?"

Naruto huffed, "geez if you want me out of the house just say so next time." He went to grab his bag.

"No. That's not what I meant at all." Minato urged, he looked to his wife for help. She reached over and grabbed her husbands hand, trying to calm him down.

"Naruto, we just don't want you to be late. It's your last week before break. Lots of tests right?"

"Iruka said I didn't need to come in today." Naruto started eating again. "I will go in early anyway. Hinata agreed to help me finish studying." Naruto finished his food. He relaxed in the living room for a while before he had to leave.

When he has to go he slumped as he walked out of the house. He wanted to stay and spend time with them all. His parents took a whole two weeks off and he's only home for half of that week. The grade school doesn't go on spring break until next Tuesday.

When he got to college he searched the parking lot for a spot. There was never any parking, not unless it was very, very early in the morning.

He found a spot in the very back and sighed deeply, rubbing his eyes. He grabbed his bag and locked the car doors. His sluggish eyes looked around, other teenagers were walking to their cars. Probably leaving, while Naruto was just arriving.

The second his pass opened the door he wanted to leave. He never really liked to be in the small college rooms on the first and only the first floor. The many other buildings were not what he uses. But they're making him take an art class, a three hour art class next semester. He's not looking forward to that.

He met Hinata in the library, tables scattered around, a group of teenagers on computers sat in the corner, and another group of teenagers who were on break were playing a board game, some of them had weird hats on. They seemed like nice people. Not someone he'd willingly hangout with though.

Hinata gripped his arm and pulled him down, he took out his notebooks and hurried to right down the notes Hinata was giving him.

"Did you study at all?" She asked, there was a pain in her voice, something tell him she didn't believe he studied or would pass the test. But he did study, he studied all night.

"I'll do fine." Naruto promised, his blue eyes slanted down. Did no one believe in him? "Just because I didn't hand in a few assignments doesn't mean it's the end of my college career."

Hinata shook her head, not believing Naruto's words at all. If she doesn't do well and try, what was the point? The fact that Naruto would even say missing one assignment wouldn't hurt shows he's not serious.

"Hinata! Really! You need to get that thought out of your head. It's okay to fail." Naruto reached out and grabbed her hand. She shook her head and pushed him away.

"It's not, and don't cry to me when you fail this test. You need to take this more seriously or you're never going to get accepted into that university." She slammed her books shut and stormed out of the library. Naruto was quite shocked at how quiet she was, she hardly made a noise and little attention was drawn to him.

He opened his notebook and grabbed the textbook, he was not worried about failing this test, he knew he wouldn't. And even if he did, it's not the end of the world, he would try again. Always try again. It's not like he'd fail every single test he will ever take.

When the clock hit 11:07 he walked into the lecture hall, his hands were sweating and he was trying to remember all the information he needed. He grabbed his pen and pencil and sat quietly like everyone else as the tests were being administered.

His hands felt as if they should be shaking, he had taken tests before but tests in college were always more intimidating. Like he should've been more prepared, he could've studied for seven days straight, still he would feel this way.

Anxious.

Anxiety was the silent killer in his life, it struck him constantly, never at a good time. He has no choice but to feel scared, he must take this test. He ignored the feeling. The feeling that reeked of failure. Anxiety tried to make him fail, it tried to keep him from doing what he needs to do.

He's anxious. His legs were bouncing up and down as he tried to calm himself. He read the first question, multiple choice, applied questions, he knows the answers. He looked at the question, he doesn't know the answer at all!

The feeling hit him like a brick, it smashed right into his stomach, the feeling ricocheting and bouncing all over inside of him.

It's this crippling anxiety in his stomach and he can't help feel nothing and everything at the same time. He's scared but he also doesn't  care. And then he cares too much. And it's an abundance of feelings that circle around inside him.

He has to remember what he's doing. Why he's doing it. He has a reason. He can't sike himself out. He knows what he's doing, what he's doing it all for. He wants to get into the same university as Sasuke, he wants to go there and be there and learn. With Sasuke. Somewhere different where he'll feel, a little different.

He is scared, but he's going to move on to the next problem, he's going to let himself be scared. Sometimes it's okay to be scared.

When he was done he handed the test in and thanked the professor. He was sure he didn't fail, besides a few questions that were uncertain if he knew them. He was pleased with himself. The test grade will be up within the next hour. 

He walked into the dining hall, he found Sai and Hinata quickly he sat next to them Lee joining with a sandwich.

"How did you do?" Hinata asked not even bothering to look up. Her face was glued to her textbook a highlighter in hand.

"I passed for sure." He muttered. His eyes stared at the table, he leaned against it, he has another test tomorrow and then he's done. Spring break! Wooh! He was going to sleep so much.

Hinata scoffed, she didn't dare ask Naruto how much he studied for. She hates people that things come easy for them, Naruto was one of them. He was good at everything, and never has to truly try. She despises it.

"Hinata..." Naruto said his tone of voice got her attention he sounded very defeated. "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I really did study a lot. I don't want to flunk out." He didn't know what to say, she was ignoring him as if he wasn't speaking at all. He never understood woman, especially Hinata.

Ino was a little easier to read he grew up with her. She's calmed down in recent days, and months. She always said how it was, similar to Sai. Ino was a bitch, he knew that, she knew that. Ino thrives on that word.

Sai looked up his elbow clashed with Naruto's. "I passed my mid term" he said with a smile, it was a smile that was so much darker these past few months. "I'm actually kind of proud of myself." He whispered.

Naruto cheered "good job! You should be proud!" He said shoving Sai playfully. Both their eyes were washed of sadness for a moment and together for a split second, they had stars in their eyes. They were happy with themselves, for a second, and then it disappeared.

As quick as it came their eyes dulled again. Sai nodded his head, his phone held tightly in his hand. It buzzed, he looked down at and left the table.

"I'll see you later." Sai said waving as he walked away, his ear hit the phone as he walked out of the door way.

Naruto waved until he didn't see him. "Lee, give me some of that." Naruto order taking half of the sandwich. Lee gladly gave it up.