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Bad Girl's Philosophy

wingsanddreams 

Trigger warning - sexual assault

What it's about: Clara is a victim of human trafficking who has suffered physical and sexual abuse. She finds strength through boxing to remake her life.

Anything in bold will be changes I've made and italics are your original words.

Cover/Blurb - 3/5

Let's start off this review with the good stuff. Your cover is pretty good. I love the image you used and while the title is a little cliche, especially for Wattpad (titles starting with "the bad girl... or the bad boy...." are of abundance on this website), it's pretty good. It wouldn't deter me from checking out your book. Font wise, for the title it's good. However you have that little part saying "warning: she's broken" and your username in different fonts. That's three for just one small cover - it's too much. Keep the title font and make your username bigger with a simple font. That little sentence at the top of the cover isn't really needed and doesn't add to your book.

Blurb. There's nothing really there that tells me about the book. I'm confused about how she's been taken but somehow is able to practice boxing? Is she still kidnapped or has she escaped? And that excerpt from the book isn't needed. It again, tells me nothing about the book and would not entice me to read on. Honestly, the whole blurb needs a revamping. This is what's pulling down your overall score. Writing words out completely, like "years" and not just putting "yrs" will help it a lot.

There must be more to this character than her assault, but that's all you're telling me with this blurb. You've put time and effort into creating this character and her world, I want to know more about it. Don't let your hard work be dragged down by one small blurb.

Your cover is a solid 4 for me, but your blurb is barely a 2 giving your final score a 3.

Grammar - 3/5

There are several grammar errors that I noticed throughout that took me out of the story. Some small errors I can breeze over and it doesn't take me out of the book, but there were enough that I found myself focusing on them rather than the chapter at times. For starters, there was a surplus of commas that weren't needed. Formating was off throughout the chapter with the dialogue tags and when you should start a new paragraph.

Quick tip about dialogue tags (trust me, I didn't used to know this either and had to have someone point it out to me too) - if you are writing how a person is saying something - EX. "Hey, I am leaving," I slowly whisper. - you use a comma to end the dialogue. However, if you have anything else, like an action, afterwards - EX. "Hey, I am leaving." I headed towards the front door. - use a full stop.

Watch out for tense changes and not capitalizing random words as well. EX. "Now, Fuck off" and "Clara Stay." Fuck and stay do not need to be capitalized.

With some editing, it can greatly improve this chapter!

Plot - 2/5

As you picked only option one and thus I am only reviewing your first chapter, I can't give this section a much higher mark. I really wish I could but even reading it over several times I got me nothing about your plot other then she's a victim of human trafficking who somehow no one wants to help even know they seem to know she's trapped and also blame her for her misfortune? I have no background, no connection to your MC other then she is a small creature who wears one-hundred-year-old sneakers and is five foot five. I'll go into more detail about Clara in the character believability section.