"Don't you think I know that! Don't you think I can look in the mirror and see how ugly I am. Can't you see that I know my flaws. Yes I know I'm ugly okay. I can see that. My brain tells me that EVERY second of EVERY day. I would tell you to give up...
(Disclaimer... in this chapter I am NOT calling Emma chamberlain fat! I'm just putting in some of the characters biggest insecurities and it's nothing to do with Emma other than the fact that she's absolutely gorgeous and I wanted to use her for my character... thanks)
Sidekick Jess 🦸🏻♀️: you're Zach Herron!
Snorkel boi: finally you speak to me. Nice to hear from you too... at 1:30 pm.
Sidekick Jess 🦸🏻♀️: sorry but you clearly didn't want my friends to know and I'm always with them...
Snorkel boi: yes I'm Zach Herron.
Sidekick Jess 🦸🏻♀️: omg...
Snorkel boi: now if you don't mind me asking... how do you have 8 million followers.
Sidekick Jess 🦸🏻♀️: well that's my secret...
Snorkel boi: so this is actually you?
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Sidekick Jess 🦸🏻♀️: Surprised?? Should I be offended?
Snorkel boi: no. You're just gorgeous.
Sidekick Jess 🦸🏻♀️: jee thanks ❤️
Snorkel boi: got to go ❤️
Sidekick Jess 🦸🏻♀️: okay ❤️
And that's it... that's when my heart did something. It either sank into a bottomless ocean. Or it flew away like a balloon full of helium. But either way.... it felt satisfying. Like something I've never felt before... "Jess... did I say something" it was Hannah. She was knocking on the door to the bathroom stall I've been hiding in for thirty minutes. "No.no. I just really needed the... toilet?" What am I saying.. "Are you ill?" "No. Just. On...." "Oh okay." And then she left. I hate lying to them. But I don't know what they'd say. They're like his biggest fans. And I can't risk them knowing. I decided to look at Zach's Instagram account. And MY GOD WAS HE CUTE! Now I see what Quinn has always been saying. After a few minutes I finally went out for the last ten minutes of lunch. "Hey Jess!" Noah greeted when I reached our usual table. "Guys!" I heard a girl yell from the other side of the cafeteria. "Look at Zach's new Instagram post!" She was practically screaming. "Yeah, I just saw. I guess he's pretty cute." I shrugged. "Since when do you look at their accounts?" Noah asked me. "But you think Zach's cute huh?" That's all Hannah could focas on. "Yeah..." I couldn't help but smile. From the corner of my eye I saw Quinn's evil glare right at me. "Yes Quinn?" She chuckled. "It's just you look like you think he's actually going to notice you." "What?" I asked her right back. "I mean... look at you. You're fat and ugly!" "I'm what??" I started tearing up. "You're kidding me right..." "Not really I mean come on. You've got commitment issues." Right then Quinn saw the crowd of 'popular kids' surrounding us. And if Quinn wanted one this, it was to be popular. No matter what or how. "Not to mention every guy you know leaves you." I couldn't fight my tears. "Even your own father ran from you!" Just like that everyone started laughing and staring. I ran out of the cafeteria, turning back at the last second to see Quinn fully submerged in the crowd of kids. I ran to the back gate and fell to the ground balling my eyes out. To my left was a small gap, so I decided to squeeze through it and drive home. I can't believe she said that. It was my biggest problems, used against me. When I reached home I found a letter in my post box. When I opened it, it said...
Dear miss harris. We would like to make a new offer on behalf of 'TQE' since flying and housing might be a difficult state for your family. We're offering you a free flight out to us. And a fully furnished apartment building. We'd like your feedback as soon as convenient. Yours truly, Maddison.
QUE were a management trying to sign me to their la department of YouTubers. I've been hiding these letters for months. I didn't want my mam to see. If she saw them she'd make me go. And I can't leave her.
You see, my dad left me,my mam, my sister and my brother when we were very young. She does everything for us. She works three jobs and cooks and cleans and drives us everywhere we'd like. She's the best. But me and my brother work to add income. I get mine from my socials and Joe gets his from working at the shop down the road. If I leave my income goes with me. I just can't do that to them. I looked at my phone and I was flooded with messages.
H.h.hoe: the guys told me everything. Are you ok? KitKatboy 🍫: Jess are you ok. Hoe 👙: babes that's so out of line. Joseph boyyyy 😂: I'm working late but i know what's happened and I'll leave now if you want. Jaz💥: sis? Are you ok.
I didn't reply to any of them... except...
Snorkel boi: JESSICA!
Sidekick Jess 🦸🏻♀️: Yes ZACH!
Snorkel boi: I was bored and just finished at the studio so I thought I'd message you.
Sidekick jess 🦸🏻♀️: glad to be your first choice!
Snorkel boi: yeah, after jack and Jonah and Daniel and Corbyn and Gabbie and Amelia and Emma...
Sidekick Jess 🦸🏻♀️: can't say that doesn't hurt 😂
Snorkel boi: here's a crazy idea. How bout we call each other?
Sidekick Jess 🦸🏻♀️: what I can't face time you I'm about to go shopping for snacks. Plus you're American which means it'll cost me money.
Snorkel boi: I didn't say face time I said call and I'll call you so I'll be the one who gets charged...
Sidekick Jess 🦸🏻♀️: 👏🏼fine
J-hello! Z- I said a boom boom boom.... now let me hear you say wayhoo. J-Zach I'm in tesco. Z-now let me hear you say Wayhoo! J- Wayhoo. Z-I can't hear that.... J- WAYHOO. J-great now that mans staring at me. Z-what... he wasn't staring before?? Wow the strength it must take not to stare at a gorgeous girl like you. I blushed at that.
"Look who it is..." j-not right now kate. Then I heard a giggle come from behind me. That was Quinn. "Why are you hear... the plastic surgeons are on the other side of town." "Not that she could afford one." Kate stated. "I don't need any." "Wow. Come on look at you." Kate responded. "She's so ugly." Quinn laughed at me. "Don't you think I know that! Don't you think I can look in the mirror and see how ugly I am. Can't you see that I know my flaws. Yes I know I'm ugly okay. I can see that. My brain tells me that EVERY second of EVERY day. I would tell you to give up. But what's the point if I keep telling myself the same thing. Right." I started to cry again. And they both laughed. "Yeah. Keep laughing at the girl who can't catch a break. Keep laughing at the girl who can't stand to look herself in the mirror. Laugh at the tragic shell of a girl." With that I left my snacks where they were and stormed out of the shop.
