Finding him

Chapter 1

Ringing. All I can hear is ringing...she's shouting at me, but I can't move and I can't speak. Before I can register what's happening I'm on the cold concrete floor, I should be crying or screaming, but I just feel numb. My mother's words keep replaying in my head 'He's gone Mischa.'. How can this be true, how can he be gone? How did this happen? Who did this? All these questions are swimming in the dark pool that is my mind, but I can't seem to find my voice to ask them.

My mother is a wreck, she's got mascara running down her face and the dark circles around her eyes indicate that she's known about this for some time. Anger boils deep within me, why wouldn't she tell me sooner. I guess I get it, she wanted me to get home before telling me. I can practically see the strong women I grew up to love fall apart behind those piercing green eyes. I can still perfectly recall last weekend when he opened the front door of our old house welcoming me home with that big warm smile of his. My dad is pacing back and forth behind my mother clearly fighting of tears while picking at his nails.I'm on my knees on the cold cement floor of my childhood home's living room wanting nothing more than for my mother to tell me that this is a joke, this a sick prank and that this is all pretend. The worst part is...I know that won't happen.

I spend the next hour listening to my mother explain the details of London's death threw tears and gritted teeth. Everything is still a blur, but can recall some facts. I now know that he was killed in a car crash, the driver was drunk,the driver was his best friend Cory and that he died on impact. I silently stand up and excuse myself before running out of the house into the freezing September air. When I get into my car I frantically call my best friend Michelle and instruct her to wait for me at my apartment because I don't think I can handle this type of pain alone, it's only when I get onto the freeway when I relies that my cheeks are stained with salty tears and that the piercing sound echoing of my car windows is my own screaming.

When I pull into my usual parking spot in-front of my apartment building Michelle is waiting for me with a worried expression, it's when I stumble out of the car that sympathy and sadness clouds her face as she rushes over to comfort me. She leads me up to my apartment and as soon as the door opens I collapse into her arms and start sobbing, she keeps me in her arms as she leads me to the couch and sits down next to me as she helplessly rocks me back and forth while heavy sobs rattle my entire body. After I've mostly calmed down I explain to her what had happened and she listens with sadness and grief in her big brown eyes. Me and Michelle grew up together so she new my brother pretty well, so this is horrible news for her as well. I still can't believe this is real. Londons gone. Forever.