Devotion (3) ✔

8 - Mariana

The last two weeks were the best two weeks of my life. I loved every second of it. It was freeing to give in and allow someone to take care of me. Growing in such a harsh environment with lack of love and support from anyone, it felt odd to receive full attention from one person.

Santiago never failed to show me how much I meant to him.

There were times where I kept saying that I was deluding myself. He was a married man who I met at the Caroline estate. If he hadn't met me, he would have fucked someone else and left her with a big tip. That thought might have hurt other woman but it didn't bother me at all.

Sex was merely a job to me. I'd never had any emotional feelings during sex. Before Santiago, I have had amazing sex before but I was never a submissive.

That was new.

I remembered the first time I had slept with David. My first and longest client. He was kind and slow with me. I wasn't a virgin then and the boyfriend I had in high school for a limited amount of time wasn't someone I was in love with. I'd always been emotionally detached from the concept of sex. Yes, it was something intimate and it took me a long time after joining Miss Caroline's company to perform any type of sexual acts.

David, at first, didn't like the idea of me just dating other men but at the end of the day, I had six figure amount of debts to pay off and I had just dropped out. I needed the money. For a short while, I felt cheap. Sleeping with men I hardly knew. With men who were married or were just looking for an adventure.

Miss Caroline had found me, crying one day, after a successful night. The horror in her face startled me.

"Mariana, what happened, did he hurt you?" She stopped me in the hall way when I walked out of the room after the man had left. He was a Judge but not one of my regulars. I had met him on dates a few time before I agreed to have sex. For someone in his late 50s, he was in excellent shape.

I guess those daddy issues really played into the type of men I used to sleep with.

"Oh, it's nothing." I tried to play reassured her that he hadn't done anything. The guy had been a perfect gentleman. I told her that he even asked what bags I liked so he could buy one for me. That made me feel cheap.

After that, Miss Caroline took me to her office. Her office looked like a library and the shelves were filled with books on sex, psychology, Kamasutra and travel.

"Do you know that I am a trained Psychiatrist?"

My red eyes widened, tears soon forgotten. She handed me a tissue and retrieved to her bedroom behind. When she re-emerged, she had a towel in her hand. She asked me to sit on the plush leather sofa, facing away from her. Slowly, she towel dried my hair.

"You shower the minute they leave, don't you?" She chuckled. I couldn't say anything so I just nodded.

"That's okay." She took her time drying my hair. Tears prickled my eyes when I thought about the last my mother had sat me down and did my hair. I was 7 and we were still back in Cuba. In America, I doubted she even knew that I used to cut my own hair in the back of the house, over the round black bin.

There was a reason why my hair was so long. We didn't have enough money to spare on salon hair-cuts.

"Why do you so this now if you're a licensed Psychiatrist?" I asked to deflect my thoughts.

"That is still my job. I am a professional Psychiatrist." She paused and when I turned around, I found her smiling. "With a side business." She added with a cheeky smirk.

"If I had your profession, I wouldn't be here." I confessed and suddenly regretted it. I didn't want her to think I was ungrateful for taking me in and being so patient with me. She even gave me to option to choose and I chose this.