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I put on a simple pair of jeans and T-shirt to get ready for the day.
I've been living out of a suitcase in Kelly's guest room once again, so my first stop of the day was going back to the townhouse to pick up some more clothes. I was sick of wearing the same stuff over and over again.
I used my key to open the door and stepped in and looked around, not seeing Jay, thank God. I didn't wanna see him today.
Our breakup has been so hard on me. Today is the first day I haven't cried, believe it or not, but I know that seeing him would just mess with my head for the rest of the day and I didn't need that.
"Jay?!" I called out, just to make sure he wasn't home.
No response.
I put my purse and keys down and went up the stairs to our, I mean his bedroom.
As I stepped into our room, he came out of the bathroom with just a towel around his waist.
I bit my lip and looked him up and down.
"You ok?" he asked.
I shook my head, snapping out of it, "Yeah, sorry, I'm just here to pick up some more clothes. I thought you weren't home, I called you."
"I was in the shower, I guess I didn't hear you," he shrugged.
I nodded. "I guess not."
I went into my closet and started throwing clothes and shoes into my bag while he got dressed.
I finished getting everything I wanted and walked out of the closet to see Jay just sitting on the bed waiting for me. When he saw me, he stood up and walked over to me.
"How have you been?" he asked.
"Let's not do this," I answered.
"I'm not allowed to wonder how you are?" he asked.
"I'm not yours to wonder about," I responded.
He looked hurt by what I said, but I knew it was necessary. I'm so weak for him that if I'm nice to him, that'll lead to me thinking I can be friends with him. Then, if I try to be friends with him, I know I'll just end up back in bed with him, so I couldn't play nice.
He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off. "I'm going to look at some places tomorrow, so hopefully I'll be able to get my own place and get all of my stuff out of here soon."
He shook his head, "Bey, come on."
"Come on, what? You cheated on me, we broke up, why would I not get my own place, Jay?"
"I don't know....I guess part of me doesn't wanna believe that you were serious. Like maybe this is just a break but we'll be able to work everything out soon. You can't seriously just wanna be done."
