Country Human Shorts

Basically Memes Cause I Can't Write Rn

America: *breathing hard and barely running because of too many burgers*
Canada: welcome to slow jogging simulator.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Britain: The key to wining a war is good positivity and to trust each other!
America: Fuck off
France: Shut the fuck up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Japan: *high off of gas from a bomb* in my eyes Italy, you're a beautiful caterpillar~
Italy: ...what?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Britain: *picks up a gun he found* does anyone want this?
America: Me!
Canada: Me!
Australia: Me!
France: Me!
Britain: You know what? I'm going to keep it.
*three seconds later*
Britain: *is shot* NO YOU BASTARDS!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
America: What's a six letter word for disappointment?
Britain: France.
America: *gasp* It fits..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Britain: Excuse me.
France: Pardon.
Italy: Mi scusi.
Japan: すみません.
USSR: помилование.
Reich: Entschuldigen Sie.
America: Move.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Britain: Oh bollocks, we've lost America!
Canada: Don't worry dad, I got this.
Canada: Ahem.
Canada: BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY-
America: *somewhere lost* BILL BILL BILL!
Canada: Found him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reich: There's something we're missing.
USSR: Team work. A decent strategy. A general sense of what we're doing?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Japan: Don't worry guys, I bombed America!
Reich: You did w h a t?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Britain: *holds open door for France* After you.
France: No, no, after you!
Britain: I insist, after you.
France: No, after you.
America: *pushes past them both* After me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
America: So we just bombed Japan. Twice.
Britain: The fuck do you mean "we"?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reich: Japan, it's all on you.
Japan: *bombs America*
Japan: *gets bombed by America. Twice*
Reich: What the fuck part of "it's all on you" did you not understand?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
France: One time, Britain got so angry he forgot how to speak English and started to yell at America very angrily in French.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*America's phone rings*
[Daddy]
Canada: You still call dad "daddy?"~
America: *looks Canada dead in the eye*
America: *answers phone*
America: Hey Russia.
Canada: *chokes on his maple syrup*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
America: Russia, Germany called me fat!
Russia: You are fat.
America: *wails*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~