Blending Into Gray

Chapter 10

When I returned to the pond the next day, snatched letter in hand, I couldn't help but note that Roman was late today, too.

He didn't seem like he would normally be late.

So what's taking him so long?

I hoped he hadn't gotten caught, or stopped by his father.

That would spell disaster for both of us.

My own father hadn't seemed to notice or care that I took the letter.

I had walked into the kitchen, grabbed an apple and the letter, and walked right back out, into the sunshine.

Honestly with how badly my heart was pounding I'm shocked he didn't say anything about my anxiety.

I'm sure it was more than noticeable.

Which actually begs a good question, why didn't he say anything?

Or maybe he just assumed it was anxiety over seeing Roman again.

But if I've come back from this many encounters alive, he must know that I couldn't have been worried about it.

Unless he assumed I was nervous of something else?

Oh fuck, how should I know?

Still, with every passing minute that I didn't see Roman, my anxiety spiked into fear for him.

I sat in silence, my emotions stewing.

What if his father really had caught him? What if he knew what Roman and I were trying to do?

Anymore, because of my dedication to this task - that I wasn't even going to go through with, anyway - all of my childhood friends couldn't bear to be around me, mostly for one of two reasons.

They knew that I would likely die, because I'm a Villain, or they knew that I was a Villain and didn't want to be associated with a killer.

Heartwarming either way, I'm sure.

But because of that, Roman was the only thing close to a friend that I'd had lately.

It was crazy how the tables had turned.

I didn't want him to be hurt, especially since his father seemed so focused on this agreement that Roman hasn't really had a life.

Neither had I, but his father seemed even more dedicated than mine was.

"I can feel your nerves from here, please stop worrying."

Roman.

Whirling around, I saw him standing near me, and I leapt to my feet.

"The fuck?"

I spat at him.

"You're late again," I hissed, and he winced, placing his hands up placatingly.

"Sorry, 'Lias. My father almost caught me, so I couldn't get any mail for today."

I stood, not moving, not even a nod.

What could I say?

Hey, you're essentially my only friend right now, and I was worried you were hurt.

Yeah, no. Bullshit.

"I can feel you're upset, but I don't know what emotion it is," Roman's soft voice broke me from my thoughts.

Shit.

Normally I had a much better handle on my projection.

Apparently I've been more stressed than I looked for me to not rein in my emotions as easily.