Dear Crushes

Chapter 5: Dear Autumn

Dear Autumn,
I really like you, I mean like really! I try not to compare you to people but still with my last two crushes I had doubt or they wouldn't want to talk. Of course at times you take awhile to answer me back but who doesn't!? I'm scared about this. Me liking you. I don't want you having pity on me so if you are then just tell me because I don't want to date you or talk to you if the only reason you're nice to me is because you have pity. But still I appreciate you caring enough to tell me to not care and to be myself when you asked if I have ptsd or anxiety. This right here is me being completely honest, around new people or people I like my hands get real sweaty. Really my whole body does I know that sounds gross but I don't know I get really nervous and self conscious scared about every move that I make. Really I'm surprisingly comfortable around even though to normal standards I'm not but for my standards I am around some I was even more scared, at times I couldn't even speak and if I did I'd stutter. But with you I can speak sure I'll mess up words or say weird things, and say sooo a lot but it's really because I'm scared and really wanting you to help start some conversation. But still you give me confidence saying my smile is beautiful and I'm cute it helps me talk to you.