My Life

The excitement

I miss the feeling you get when you are first in love with someone who you thought could change it all for you. The excitement you the butterflies in your stomach. The feeling that is memorable. But those feelings only last at the beginning of the relationship. After that it just goes downhill. Everything starts tearing apart all you can do is fight and no one is happy. There are dark clouds gathering around the two lover. I always wonder what happened? Where id all the rainbow go and the butterflies you get when you guys kiss. Now there is nothing because he isn't willing to kiss you or even touch you nor does he tell you he loves you for once never. It's all gone. All the work that you both did had gone to waste and what is left is a piece of blank paper. Every blank pages wants to be filled. But once the paper is torn apart there is no way those two people can start writing out their chapter together ever again unless they both help each other find a way to find a new piece of paper to help fill it together and sign it with commitment. Love is like an adventure not only is it exciting but along the way you both find something new about each other, and those two people could be compared to ropes holding the bridge from two sides. If one lets go then there is no use for the other to grab on to the sides because there is no way in the world that anyone would make it to the other side. All i ever wanted to be was someone you can trust and talk to when you needed to talk to someone. Someone who you can always count on and someone who makes you laugh when you needed it in your rough times. I know i might not make sense writing all these things but i just wanted you to know that my feelings and my heart has always been with you and only you no one else. Never for a second i thought i was over you because deep down i know there's still hope for you and I but i don't think you think the same as i do. I guess i'm a dreamer but that's one good thing i have is that i don't ever give up on something i really want but for you clearly i'm not what you want. Our relationship is unexplainable. When we fight you always end up being mad at me even when i'm not the reason for the fight and it's clear that you don't feel the way i feel about you. Because if you love someone you would risk putting yourself on the line and just say screw it i'll give it a try because i know she is the one. When you love someone you never get bored of seeing them or being with them. You don't just promise someone something that may or may not happen because it's in the future and saying things now like a promise and not doing anything to keep that promise then for sure that promise won't be kept we will both go on our seperate ways because we both never said what we needed to say and no one wanted to start a conversation cause you both were scared of getting hurt again. You don't just get hurt once in your life, it's better to get hurt but atleast try to be open minded then not try and regret it later because like that you would get no where with someone you'll do the same thing over and over again. 

I just miss how we always laugh and say stupid things and you would always sing to me. How in camp i fell and bleed and you helped me swipe those blood away and carried me back. You were thoughtful and romantic back then, you would always feed me and take care of me and i feel like we're falling apart because you cut the side of your rope and i'm just hanging here waiting for you...