My Life

Stages of being dumped.

the stages after you’re boyfriend leaves you without breaking up with you, or telling you why he left. 

1. you wake up in the morning feeling empty, not because he’s gone but because you don’t know why

2. you blame yourself even though, he left you somehow you think its because of you.

3. everytime you hear about a couple in love or see a couple in love, you aren’t bitter, but you miss him. 

4. you’re heart feels like its beating so fast you swear it can just jump out of your chest then you have to remind yourself that he is gone and you have to act like you’re okay, so you calm down and paint that smile on your face 

5. there comes a point in time where you go through the ‘i hate him so much’ phase, you dont actually hate him, you love him and want him back but you want to convince everyone you dont care and want to look like it doesn’t matter. 

6. you get to the part where you actually dont think of him for a couple days, but then something reminds you of him, his old sweater pops up in the back of your closet or you stumble apon the letters he used to write you and you read them and think oh my fucking god where did we go wrong

and you cry and miss him again

7. you see him everywhere you go, you hear him every time there is quiet, its like when you are not occupied he makes sure to come around and haunt you with the thought of him. 

"i was sitting down having a perfectly normal conversation then i felt myself drifting out of the conversation because i kept hearing your voice and seeing your face but i knew you weren’t actually there because it’s been way to long to ever pretend that you are going to come back to me."

8. in the end you will always miss him and i cant tell you that its ever going to stop because its almost been 4 months and ive only been missing him more each day but at some point as time goes on, you learn to accept that maybe it wasnt all your fault that your love left you

9. you’ll lose many friends because you have changed since he left, you are more bitter, don’t want to go out as much, you literally dont care about anyone or anything but this situation, and a lot of friends will leave you but im telling you, you wont care because all you think of is him, don’t let that happen. the few people who stick around will be so done with hearing about him, but will listen because they know you would return the favor. 

10. lastly you will hear stories about people you know complaining about their ‘little heartbreaks’ and make it seem so much bigger than it is compared to yours, bite your tongue trust me. you will hear people talking about their boyfriend and how much they love him and how he loves her, dont be bitter be happy for them even though it burns that it was once you feelings that way. 

11. in the end people say you learn about your first love and relationship, honestly i learnt nothing besides to never trust anyone ever about ANYTHING. oh and i also learnt that i will never move on or be able to date again. 

12. every breakup post/poem will be saved to your phone and you will read them every single night 

13. he will be your first thought in the morning and the last thought at night, even though he is long long long gone

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