• Touch Me || Ravn x Hwanwoong •

•✔️1

What's the purpose of love?

Is there a specific reason we need it in our lives?

Why does it have to be so painful?

Youngjo lets his eyes drill into the wooden floor as a bottle of alcohol swings between his slender fingers.

Why can't we choose who we love and who we don't with the entirety of our hearts?

Who even makes these decisions?

He perked his hears to hear his daughter, Hwanjo, still sleeping or were his thoughts loud enough to wake her up too. Cause they were definitely loud enough to keep him awake.

Even though he and his girlfriend had broken up a few hours ago, he still looked like he had been through a train wreck. Which it actually felt like. He had bags under his eyes, red eyes and trails on his face from crying. He felt emotionless. As the bottle tip touched his lips once again, he regretted everything he had done. He hated himself. He had been too attached to her. Nothing new. It always happened when he loved someone too much. Nobody didn't tell him nothing about hit but the silence wasn't deaf.

How can they say they know me when I don't even know myself?

But that was not the only reason that led them to their break up. It was more complicated than you'd ever think it is.

Why am I like this? Is it normal?

Why couldn't I just leave?

How am I supposed to fix myself? Fix her? Fix Hwanjo?

Fix us?

Another sip.

His friends used to call him Ravn because of his eben black hair and pale skin. But not even the best memories from High School could bring his lips up. Nothing could.

The time wasted on thinking of the right one who turned out to be not the really right one.

The time wasted on planning things that would make you happy.

Even though us apart wouldn't make a difference, I'm still thinking about it.

I think about you every night. Insomnia haunts me like a nightmare. It never changes.

He raised his hand quickly to wipe away another wave of tears. He loved her. He really did. But now she left. With an apology and his heart.

Youngjo didn't even try to understand whose fault it was. There was nobody to blame because that's how life goes. He didn't mind the path he had built for himself but he did mind the material which was starting to fall apart despite Youngjo's desperate attempts to fix it.

But the truth he knew was that everything comes, is and goes. He hoped that it'll apply to his feelings too.

,,D-Daddy?" A silent voice asked. Youngjo's heatd shot towards the direction of his beloved daughter who he had promised to take good care of after she left.

,,Y-Yes?" He replied, voice weak and broken.

,,I-I c-can't sleep without you. W-When will you come?"

,,Soon enough, baby. Go back to bed now, okay?" He smiled the best he could even though it was hard. Smiling through the pain was something he had never done before but he didn't want Hwanjo to see behind the curtain.

Hwanjo nodded and walked back upstairs silently, Youngjo's eyes following her protectingly.

And then he remembered again.

,,No, please! Don't go!" He begged, grabbing his girlfriend's wrist, trying to pull her back. She twitched it away violently. The look in her eyes was mad and sad at the same time. It hurt her too though she didn't show it out.

,,Youngjo, no! That's enough! I said, we're done! Come Hwanjo!" She tried to grab their daughter's hand to drag her out with her. Hwanjo stood there with a confused but scared expression, a lonely stuffed fox hanging between her tiny fingers.

Youngjo watched in agony as they started leaving. At the last moment before everything would've been taken away from him, he jumped between the leavers and the door.

,,Please..."

She bit her lip as the tears wouldn't stop falling.

,,Youngjo-"

,,I beg you..." He felt his knees shaking. He couldn't lose them. He. Just. Couldn't.

,,Don't take her away from me...from the bottom of my heart, I beg you, please don't..."

Silence filled the house as they were staring at each other, Youngjo crying more than she had ever thought he would. But despite that, he was quiet. He was waiting.

She turned around and walked Hwanjo to her room silently, Youngjo watching, heart beating rapidly. A good couple of minutes passed until she finally came back downstairs. Alone. She walked past Youngjo out of the door but stopped before leaving forever, looking at him one last time.

And then she hugged him. It was as quick as a heartbeat but said way more than words ever could've.

And then she was gone.

Forever.

Youngjo collapsed on the floor, knees tightly against chest and hand supporting his head as he cried. Cried it all out of himself. He might seem all strong and calm, confident person to other people until something broke through the core. It was all his fault. He had hurt the people he loved the most. He had been too...himself. But he had never learnt how to be someone he isn't just to please someone. He had always been who he really is. And now it got its revenge, taking away a part of his soul. And it hurt. A lot.

A gentle touch made his head shot up. Hwanjo was standing there, tear traces all over her cheeks like her father. She didn't like seeing her daddy sad. It hurt her too.

They looked at each other before Youngjo opened his arms, pulling her into a sad hug. Hwanjo listened how heartbreakingly devastated sobs escaped his dad's mouth and felt how the hiccups made his body shake. She wrapped her tiny hands around him and whispered,

,,It's going to be okay, daddy...Eventually..."

He stared at the wall as painful memories filled his mind. Eventually, he emptied the bottle, threw it away and made his way to the bed too.

•
you're here and so is the first chapter! i'm so excited for this book but notice that it's going to have slow updates; also my other book 'pure' will get its new update very soon so please look forward to both stories!
this book is going to be deep and different from all my previous works. cause like said in description, youngjo and hwanwoong are two poetical souls. with a touch of fluff of course.
what did you think about it so far? please let me know
see you soon!