Poems

Decalcomania

A look of grace

Running at a steady pace

Fighting any danger

Yet you're still my stranger

We could laugh until the end of the world

You live in my dreamworld

Jealousy as bright as day

Yet I can't find the words to say

Passing time until I fall

Sometimes I wish I could forget it all

Reaching for my own hand

But I can't get a grip

Slipping further into this dark hole

I want to break free

I can't take it anymore

We are the same yet different

You are what I aspire to be

Myself yet someone else

The image of you in my dreams

Is like a faded memory

Yet so vivid it scares me

I want to my own decalcomania

A perfect copy

Something I know I could never be

Listening and breaking is all I do

Caring when I shouldn't

Wishing I was perfect

I sit in a room full of darkness

Surrounded by only negative thoughts

For I overthink everything

Meaning I over-love too easily

Looking in the mirror

It's like it's someone else

The image I am

Does not seem to meet the standard

My own standard

Struggling to deal with it

I want to set myself free

Everything is different

We are the opposites

Trapped in one

I want to be set free

Stuck inside this loop

A never-ending cycle

I want to be my own decalcomania

I want to reach for what's out of reach

I am so close yet so far

Jealous is my only friend

I want to be free

From this trap known as my thoughts

I question what others see

Do they see the same thing I do

All my problem tower over me

I can't escape them

Shadows loom over every corner

Almost like my thoughts

I wonder why I can't be like them

Perfect; flawless

It's like I have never been myself

Always the same

But always changing

I want to listen to myself

But it's hard when I don't know myself

This constant worry of not meeting the standard

A standard I have made for myself

Thin and probably unhealthy

I strive to be thinner

I want to be prettier

But it's impossible

A thousand walls keep me from my goal

But those thousand walls are just one

Me

I am my own wall

I am a thousand walls