Nothing's Guaranteed

Chapter 3

I thought that things like this get better with time, but I still need you

Why is that?

You're the only image in my mind

So I still see you around

I miss you, like everyday

Wanna be with you, but you're away

Said I miss you, missing you insane

But if I got with you, could it feel the same?

-Beyoncé

~~Sydney~~

Beep Beep. Beep Beep. Beep Beep.

I grumpily lean over and smack the button to turn off my alarm. The sun is forcing her way into the crevices of my blinds alerting me that it is in fact morning. The morning of my first day at my new school and I am dreading every single minute of it. I always remember Chi-Town high being around as I grew up in the neighborhood. Although Chi-Town was supposed to be my home school, but my parents sent me to a school that was across town, closer to my mom's job. Public schools were never really their thing, but I honestly never hung out with any of the kids at my private schools either. There were always some exceptions, but for the most part everyone and everything seemed so staged and predictable. If you were not coming from a background with money then you might as well have not existed at all. And if you really wanted to become oblivious, avoid drinking and partaking in drugs at all cost. Anyone not willing to fall victim to their addictions were considered "lame". Now I have had a drink or two, but I have never been drunk. Maybe I should put that on my senior year bucket list.

"Sydney Serenity Williams it is time for you to get out of that bed and get ready for your first day of school!" Chasity yells this from the kitchen acting as my second alarm clock. As if the sun and my actual clock were not enough. I roll my eyes at her as I listen to her heavy footsteps march down the hall. I smirk at the way she called my whole name how mom used to do. Before obeying her orders I close my eyes and imagine my mother's voice in place of Chasity's. I imagine her opening the door and popping her head around the corner. Some miscellaneous object makes its way onto my bed. Something she most definitely tried to hit me with. Then I would groan and pull the covers over my head causing my mom to threaten to come back with a bucket of water if I was in the same spot five minutes later.

We learned early to never take my mom's threats lightly. Chasity and I shared the same bedroom for most of our childhood, and the same bed for the first half. One morning Chasity and I decided to test the bucket of water threat and ended up soaked by minute six from a laughing mom with the bucket and our dad with a camera.

My eyes pop open and the sound of Chasity calling China's name brings me back to reality. I groan as I reluctantly hop out of bed and head into the bathroom across the hall. After using the bathroom, I go ahead and turn the shower water on so that it can start warming up while I go pick out a towel and face cloth from the hall closet. When I re-enter the bathroom the steam is starting to build up and I prepare myself to step in.

The water is scalding hot how I like it, and the heat begins to sting my skin as I ease in. There are times I like to pretend these piping hot showers are burning away all the pain I have witnessed from before. My sorrows from my parents' deaths, the move here, having to leave my grandma behind, Chasity never being around... I do realize I have numerous open wounds. Knowing I can not remain in the shower forever, I finish up, turn the water off, and begin to dry off. I make sure no water will drip onto the floor as I step out of the shower and pause to look at my hair in the mirror while I try to imagine an outfit.