In Wonderland

Part 1: Goodbye

Note: Based after the end scene in Ep 19. Some parts of the "neighbourhood" story will be different than what we've seen in the show.

Was there a limit to how many times a heart could break? After each one, the jagged pieces would find a way to fit together and work again but there was only so many times that rebonding was possible. There would eventually come a time when the pieces were too bent, the bruises too thick and it was simply impossible for the heart to continue.

She never thought she could continue living after Kuzgun disappeared, but she found a way. Her mother died; she found a way. Then Kuzgun returned, hellbent on vengeance, and he shattered her all over again. Her father dead by her own hands, her soul broken. This time, it wasn't even a figurative heart break. She literally shot herself to end her life. Yet Ferman put her back together again, even if she fought against it.

But right now, watching Gunesh and Kuzgun kiss, Dila knew this was it. This was the moment where her heart would give out finally. And nothing could put it back together. She turned around and found Ferman standing a few feet away. Anger was stamped across his features, his gaze accusatory. She'd never seen him this angry before but knew he was always capable of it. Suddenly he erupted, storming towards her. Or maybe he was aiming for Gunesh and Kuzgun. She didn't know, and she didn't want to find out. She started walking up the hill, not looking at Ferman as he passed by her. She thought learning to walk again had been difficult, but it seemed to pale in comparison at how weak she felt now. Sounds of loud yelling drifted behind her, she could hear Gunesh and Kuzgun and Ferman fighting, but it didn't matter. None of it did. The closer she got to her car, the more distant the sounds grew.

Somehow she got in her car and drove away, the world a blur.

*****

"You didn't come home for three days."

Dila looked across at Ferman, his gentle eyes watching her with concern. "I know. I've been busy getting things ready."

"Ready for what? Why are we meeting at the airport?"

She looked down at her intertwined hands, nervously picking at her fingers. What she had to say left her feeling wracked with guilt but it was something she needed to do.

"Gunesh refuses to come home as well," Ferman continued. "She's been staying with Kuzgun."

The words were a punch to the gut, rendering her breathless. She gave herself a mental shake and told herself to snap out of it. "You helped me when I was at my lowest and I have no idea how to thank you for that."

He stared at her with a somber expression. "You don't need to."

"Yes, I do." Announcements about not leaving any baggage unattended echoed throughout as she turned back to grab her carry-on bag and retrieve the manila envelope that was inside. "I'm signing over my shares to you."

"I don't understand what's going on."

She peered at him. "I'm leaving for good, Ferman. I can't marry you."

"Because of Kuzgun."