The mind may lie, but the heart does not. (Ender's Game Fanfic)

Chapter II : An Unexpected Encounter

There, on a small craft, you sat, unprepared for Battle School.

You were strong, one could even say you were a genius, being at the top of your classes. But Battle School? The Battle School? A place where all the young geniuses around the world compete to survive against the Formics? Uncertainty to win is expected, you muttered, nodding at the thought. Still, you found yourself thinking what could happen.

If you were to win, that is.

A rank of an Admiral was to be feared, an position of honour. No longer would you have to bear with your mother and sisters, and your offer to others for better lives would be respected and heeded with much appreciation.

Sound came in small amounts, steps of a launchie, no doubt.
You guess it would be a reasonable tactic to look at the person. After all, you wanted to observe your competition, and if possible, use their emotions to help themselves and others. You were compassionate, sometimes a bit too compassionate. Even so, you were ruthless at times. When someone could not be completely reasoned, you became a monster that children were scared to find at night. Yes, you became your mother when you were mad, and you loathed yourself for that.

Imagine your surprise when you found yourself looking at Ender Wiggin.
Hold up-
That Ender Wiggin?!
God, no.
Please.
Anyone but him.

Nah. He should be alright. Right? Yeah...it's ALL OK. Uh-huh. Definitely OK.
.
.
.
Alright? Oh, who am I kidding? DAMN IT, WHY? JUST WHY?
Your mind was filled with a tsunami of thoughts, continuously screaming. It was a good thing he didn't notice you, otherwise he would have seen an mess of a girl. You could've sworn your mouth was hanging open and your eyeballs were practically jumping out of your head. But no, you were just frozen in shock. (Your mouth was actually closed, thank God.) It took a few seconds to compose yourself completely, and you thank your luck that Colonel Graff didn't see you gaping at the new launchie. Otherwise, you would have been deported back to your home town in two seconds flat.
And that's the truth.

You see, your interest in Ender grew years back. He held himself calm and composed, with an intelligence that was equal, no, at times, you could say it was even better than yours. Actually, you never talked to him. In all honesty, the fear of failure and rejection was something you handled well with people. But when it came to being rejected out of love, you knew you would have fallen apart to the point of madness because you were so needlessly infatuated with him. It wasn't just the skill set, of course not.
You wouldn't have spared a dime to him if that's all there was.

When you were young, you were constantly near your breaking points. You were abused by your mother, taunted by your sisters, it took such a toll on you that you ran away from home. You ran with tears in your eyes, and a heavy guilt in your heart.
You ran so far, you didn't even know where you were. A playground to a child was a place of fulfilment, a place a child could enjoy. So that's where you ventured. And amongst your sadness, Ender was that single beam of light that shone through your tears.
He did something no one did.
He asked you what made you smile.
He embraced you.
He played with you.
He laughed with you.
Most importantly, he was there for you when no one else was.
You learnt through your mother that you had to be strong, courageous and opinionated, but Ender was the one who taught you that affection was the end to all ends.
To understand someone and cherish them no matter how hard it gets, is the lesson he gave you. A lesson you were loyal to, a lesson kept within the deep depths of your soul.
That day, he stole your heart.
And you loved him for it.

Up to this day, that was the only time you ever talked with him. You were too shy to approach him on your own, and thought too much of failure to ever succeed. Not a single day passed where you didn't think about him. Yes, you were hopelessly in love. But you never showed it. You were happy with just admiring him from afar, and even if he never glanced at you, you were content. Even if he had a girl he loved and cherished, you told yourself  that you'd try to fake a smile even if it broke you.
Because that's how love works.
And you were willing to sacrifice your sanity for his happiness.

_
A red light beamed and blinked on the front of your seat. The launch was ready. Overwhelming your senses, you could feel the thunderous boom that vibrated through the plane. Nimbly, your hands reached to the seatbelt as you buckled it on.
3...
2...
1.
The launch boosted through the air, and you prepared to absorb the gravity that lay in space. A strong force held you down, but not too long after, you felt light.
Like you were floating.
Your hands and feet moved upwards, and that's when you knew.
We're close to space now.

"Bag! Give him the bag!" A boy yelled. Inaudible voices followed him, along with the rustling of material. Yikes. Someone's space sick. You pitied them, and unconsciously thought if they were alright. Retching sounds echoed throughout the launch, the poor thing. Expressions were tossed within the aircraft, disgust was in the air, it seems.
Floating with ease, Colonel Graff came, and noticed the space sick individual.
He barked an order, followed by a considerate question.
Oh?
It appears the colonel had some empathy even with all those years on the International Fleet. Good. You can use that as an advantage in the future, you thought.

"What are you doing, Wiggin?"

You swallowed a gasp, and anxiously awaited his response. Ender was behind you, and you couldn't see much off him. You could only make fair judgement through the Colonel's expression, and you should have sat in the back, you regret.
But no sigh will escape you, what matters is the situation at hand.
"Nothing, sir."
"Something funny? I asked you a question, launchie."
"Sir, the way you're floating. Horizontal. I thought it was funny."
Colonel Graff questions him. "Really? Why?"
"Because in zero gravity, there is no right side up. You might think you're vertical, and we may be horizontal." Ender bluntly responds.
"Is that funny?"
Responds came earnestly, each the same as the last.
"Sir, no sir!"
Actually it was. Quite an amusing thought. Before you could say the same as the others, a smile broke out on your lips, and Colonel Graff paused on your face upon seeing that.
You two made eye contact, and you straightened yourself as the smile disappeared.
Turning his head, the colonel asked a boy that was once space-sick, Alai, a question.
"Alai, you know what he's talking about?"
An instant response was received, "Sir, yes sir."
"No, you don't."
Ouch, Colonel. You just embarrassed him.
It was so bad, that even you felt embarrassed for him. I mean, he just vomited! It'd be nice to cut him some slack, you thought. But then again, this is Battle School.
It's expected for superiors to push their students to their limits.

"There's only one kid on this launch with any brains at all so far, and that's Ender Wiggin." The colonel stated, pointing straight at Ender.
Heads turned, and you could feel yourself pushing your chest out with pride.

This much was true with the man you fell in love with.

Still, you were concerned about him. The others could end up hating him, and it would break your heart to see him hurt in any way. The colonel shuffled, and stared at you after Ender.
Oh, dear me.
Were you going to get called out too?
You anticipated such a response, after all, the result of an amused smile through Ender's observation held no lie in the colonel's eyes. He opened his mouth, only to close it. As he headed back, you let out a small sigh of relief. Knowing enemies would be made from such praise would be detrimental. You can't afford to have enemies.

It's against your virtues, after all.