Behind The Front | Yoonkook

Chapter 42

Yoongi POV

I don't bother holding in the sigh that falls from my lips at the younger's question. I know I'll have to tell him eventually about it, and I really would've preferred if he never found out. He has a right to know though, and it'll only mess with us both later on if he finds out in any way other than me telling him myself.

"I'm not taking classes anymore, Jungkook. I dropped out about a month ago now." I answer with a small sigh. I watch his eyes widen from my peripheral as he detangles his fingers from mine, moving away from me a little.

"What the hell? Yoongi, why would you do that?" He asks, his voice a bit brusque this time. I purse my lips, trying to hold back a frown from him having let go of my hand as I run my now free hand through my hair.

"Look, I couldn't afford what it was going to cost to send us both through college, pay for the rent and the extra groceries necessary for two people, and then helping with payments for the tattoo shop. I don't need the degree anyways though, Jungkook. I've got the tattoo shop and I've got the bookstore, and I've got you. It's all I really need. I don't need the degree or risking getting myself scouted by entertainment companies that would take me away from everything I've got right now." I explain, forcing myself to hold back tears when I try to reach for his hand once more only for him to jerk it away again. I purse my trembling lips as I finally give up and let my hand drop to my lap since I've nowhere else for it.

"Yoongi, what the hell? Why the hell didn't you tell me?! When the fuck did you even do this?!" Jungkook exclaims, clearly upset with this new information.

Not being able to handle my emotions, the conversation, and driving all at once right now, I pull the car over to the side of the road and put the flashers on before parking it. I don't bother looking over at him though, not even wanting to see his expression right now.

"I dropped the day you moved in. I didn't tell you sooner because I didn't want to worry or upset you." I whisper roughly as I feel my throat beginning to close up.

"Why the fuck did you bother offering to help me then, Yoongi? If you couldn't even afford it, why the hell did you offer to help? Am I just some charity case to you? Something that'll make you fucking feel better for whatever stupid shit you feel you've done in the past before?" Jungkook scoffs irritatedly. I shake my head at this, not being able to take it anymore as I pop my door open and climb out. I slam the door shut behind me before walking towards the back of the car, leaning back against it as I bring my hands up to my face. I can't hold it back anymore as I begin sobbing, my entire body shaking with each one.

I don't bother trying to hold anything back or in anymore, sobbing my heart out the way I've been doing for the last week now since he left with his parents. I feel like I'm losing him all over again, yet he's sat just inside the car and seemingly angry with me. I don't really know what the hell to do anymore, whether what I have with him is really repairable anymore or not. Whether it's even worth it to try and fix things again. I just feel like I know nothing anymore. Feel like all I know anymore is how to upset people and create tattoos, how to sell books and make warm drinks at the bookshop.

Shaking my head at myself, I let my hands fall to my sides before sticking one hand into my jacket pocket. I bite my lower lip as I feel the box of cigarettes still inside along with my lighter, two items that I've managed not to touch since Jungkook moved in with me. I don't pull either item out yet, merely toying with them both as I stare out at the nearly empty road that I'd just been driving down.