Stupid Cupid

Stupid Cupid Season One

By Sarah Randall Hunt & Yaroslav Altunin

EPISODE ONE

OVER WHITE

The STUPID CUPID logo pops in. A welcome screen unfolds under it. In the bottom right hand corner, a beta version number is listed. A cursor blinks in the NAME section. It types out the name: ALEX 

 INT. MUSEUM - LOBBY - DAY An IKEA-inspired kind of place. Modern art all over the walls. It's unclear what is art and what is furniture. SUPER: FRIDAY AFTERNOON ALEX, 30s, a bundle of anxiety with a bleeding heart scrolls through photos in the Stupid Cupid app. We see photos of ROGER, early 30s, on the dating app. He's charming, in a country kind of way. 

 ALEX (V.O.) What is love? I believe it's something that defines us. It makes us smart and often times... stupid. But love is more than just a feeling. A tall man walks up. It's the real Roger. More urban Republican than country. Alex doesn't notice him. Roger checks a photo on his phone. Then looks to Alex.

ROGER Alex?

She spins to him. Doesn't recognize Roger. 

 ROGER (CONT'D) Hi. It's Roger. It takes a second for Alex connect the dots. 

 ALEX Roger? Oh my god, hi. I didn't recognize you. You look... dapper. 

 Roger smirks. Looks at the exhibit adverts. Alex does a double take to her phone and back to Roger. There are some discrepancies. He does not look dapper. 

 ROGER Thanks for meeting me here. I love taking girls to the museum. 

 ALEX I'm sorry, what? Roger thumbs his chest and winks. 

 ROGER Oh, yeah. This guy dates. A lot. Don't worry, I'll take good care of you. Shall we? He gestures toward the gallery entrance. Alex and Roger head into the museum. We see him try to hold her hand. Alex moves it away to fix her hair. 

INT. MUSEUM - MODERN WING - DAY Roger and Alex awkwardly shuffle around the empty wing. The art is weird. 

 ALEX (V.O.) Stupid Cupid isn't a regular dating app. It's a traditional matchmaker with a tech twist, like having your own Cupid that helps you along the way. (then) Not literally, of course. Having a baby in a diaper giving dating advice is super weird, am I right?

Roger stops at a painting. Alex joins him. They share an awkward smile. Alex doesn't get the art at all. 

 ROGER This is one of my favorites. 

 ALEX Yeah. It's-- nice. I wouldn't have taken you for an art lover. Roger gets defensive.

ROGER What's that supposed to mean? 

 ALEX Oh, your profile just said you're a lawyer? I'm sure that takes up a lot of your time. 

 ROGER Oh. Yeah, about that. Look, you seem like a nice gal, and I could really see this going someplace so I want to be honest. I'm dealing with some work drama right now, so I'm not practicing at the moment. 

 ALEX Oh, no. I'm sorry. What happened? 

 ROGER Nothing major. It's just hard to read people sometimes. First they're all like, 'nice shirt.' Then it's all, 'no, don't, stop. I'm gonna report you to HR.'