Unconnected Dots

1st v.s. 100+? (JJP Oneshot Rewrite)

So you're probably wondering wtf the title means.

Well I've written probably over 100 short stories by now, so I decided to do this thing.

I kinda did this for myself, since I'm not sure how much I've improved in writing, I just wanted to see physical proof of improvement.

So what I did was I dug up my first ever smut story I wrote and rewrote it. It's been about a year (or almost a year) since I started writing constantly, so idk how much improvement you can do in a year but I wanted to see lol.

I kept all the same dialogue, the events of the story don't change, just the writing and portrayal of events are the only difference.

It's kinda long, you can decide to read all of it if you want, or just read the bad version of it if you wanna laugh at how terrible it is lol. Or if you're in the mood for a slightly better version then read the rewritten one.

Idk it's up to you, I did this for myself but I do appreciate feedback if you wanna leave any lol.

If you've been with me for a long time then you might remember the first smut book and the first story I ever posted in it lol. Why are you still here after all this time? Find someone else to follow lol.

---- ORIGINAL----

JB and Jinyoung sat in the truck watching the sunset go down. They drove out far away from the hustle and bustle of the city to bask in each other presence and get away from their jobs. It's not that they didn't want to hang around the other guys, but everyone felt like they wanted some separation from their everyday lives. JB and Jinyoung opted for the countryside. They had driven most of the day, grabbed some food, and got to their destination in time for the beautiful sunset.

"I'm glad we we're able to catch this" said JB.

"Yeah, I was kinda worried we wouldn't make it" said Jinyoung, admiring JB's profile fromthe passenger's seat in the dim sunlight. He looked beautiful in this setting, the trees blowing in the background, the sun giving him a godly glow, his natural brown eye color being exposed in the light... Jinyoung was glad only he caould enoy this view.

JB turned towards Jinyoung. He noticed him staring, which JB didn't really mind. He was trying not to stare to much at Jinyoungs features himself. His plump pink lips, his hair neat yet messy at the same time, his skin smooth as can be.

"Jinyoung" JB said.

Jinyoung, who was so busy staring at JB, was startled from hearing his name suddenly. "Ah- uh yes?"

"Your staring..."

"Oh um... sorry" Jinyoung slowly turned away, his face growing hot from the embarassement of JB noticing him.

"Don't be sorry. I kinda... like it" JB was hesitant. He was basically making the first move. He was unsure if Jinyoung felt the same. There was something in their relationship, everytime they did something as JJP, it was a different, closer feeling. Most would call it close friendship, but thats what he feels in GOT7. It feels really different when its just him and Jinyoung.

Jinyoung was quiet. Jb thought he messed up, just ruined the whole moment, the whole trip.

"Uh, sorry, I-" JB started.

"No!" Jinyoung interrupted "Uh I mean... I like it too". Jinyoung looked down at his pants.

JB just stared at him for a moment. Then he laughed. Jinyoung looked up, puzzled at what could be so funny. He gave JB a look.

"Oh sorry" JB said in between breaths "I just- I thought I fucked up just now"

Jinyoung took a second too realize what JB meant and he ended up laughing too.