New Chains, Same Shackles|| Book II

Chapter 3: Smoked out, Scoped Out

I take a hit of my blunt while leaned against the brick-wall behind Melvin's and pass it over to Eric standing next to me. Things were still a little awkward between us after what happened last week but we continued to smoke in silence.

My shift ended not too long ago when Eric texted me saying he wanted to talk about what happened but we ended up doing the opposite. Apart of me wants to apologize but another part of me wants to smack the shit out of him.

When it comes to Eric and me we're joint by the hip. I'd never do or say anything to hurt him because I care about him too much for my own good. Hell, I'd take a bullet and more if it meant Eric was safe, but he truly fucked up this time.

I know in some dumb sort of way Eric had good intentions but it hurts knowing he's been there from the beginning, he's seen how broken they've made me and yet he did it anyway.

Eric helped me through everything after they mentally and physically fucked me up. The last thing I needed was to be thrown unexpectedly right back where I started in that same loop of self-destruction.

"Y'know I ain't mean to hurt ya right shawty?"

I scoff and put on a fake smile, "funny, cause that's exactly what ya did—" I say while smoke floats from my lips, I shake my head and look at my beat-up sneakers trying not to laugh sarcastically, "—the fuck was ya thinkin' Eric?"

He sighs, "You ain't the only one hurtin, those guys ain't been the same neitha—"

"What? So I'm posed to just feel bad n' take em back after they decided to push me to the side like I ain't shit?" An annoyed grumble comes from the back of my throat and I roll my eyes, "Yeah fuck that, I'm done—" I say getting ready to turn my back and go inside to finish closing up but Eric's angered voice stops me in my tracks.

"I thought ya could handle it, ight? It fuckin' kills me seein' ya slowly killin' ya self over em and them doin' the same. I still gotta drag Oddy outta bed after weeks of lockin' himself in his room n' force food down his throat. Slick went back to abusin' right after that night and no one can get em to stop. I've tried so hard but ya can't help a person that don't want it. I'm sick of this shit now, it's gone on too long n' for what? I don't wanna play this fucked up waitin' game of which one of my friends is gonna end up dead first anymore ight?!"

Eric slowly raises his voice, his face heating up to a light pink before he takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose, "—so I'm sorry, I know ya never wanted to hear shit bout em cause ya still hurtin' but I'm just tryna set things straight, alla dis shit is hurtin' me too y'know—"

Eric pauses, his face twisting into a look of sorrow as he bites his lip harshly before running a hand through his straggly two-colored hair, "I miss the old times... I miss the old you," Eric whispers looking back at me with gentle eyes.

His words linger in the air around us and suffocate me with guilt. I feel my throat tighten trying to hold back the mix of emotions and words I felt but I didn't have the heart at that moment to tell him no.

How could I? I'm about to reply but I couldn't find it in me to fight back, I had no fight left to give. I toss the roach to the rocky gravel below. I don't even bother putting it out before walking back towards the door.

I turn around one last time before whispering in a dull tone, "yeah...I miss that too," I go back into the small bar and close the door behind me leaving Eric all alone in the bitter dark alleyway.

I walk out through the kitchen door to see Red concentrated on sweeping upfront around the pool tables. Red must've heard my light footsteps because she suddenly stops what she's doing to look up at me.