I Can Make A Wish

Introduction

Here I am another late night with nothing to do but think of him.
I'm an almost normal girl living a high school life of friends and drama and stress. They say I'm pretty I sometimes feel it though you know, just those insecurities. Gosh they're a bitch. I got blonde hair and brown eyes with an ok body, I say it could be better though. Well this is not a pity me story, or a depression story but a story of feeling good about someone and just being hopeful. Some people say I'm a crazy lovable bitch that can give you a whole lot of love and care towards anyone. I first will explain my self which will lead to my point of him. I love my friends to death especially Lizzy she is my different colored sister from another mother. H aha don't judge me just yet. Then I have Alex who is my twin but sadly we're not as close now but we're still sisters. I actually met him through Alex. The times when I was being myself but that all changed last year just randomly.Like poof! I can always pretty much come straight forward to people. I could say " damn you look hot today" or " go fix your self up " Like I said I'm pretty straight forward and I will not be afraid to say what has to be said. With him I can't be and it's driving my crazzzzzzzy! I met him last year sorta as an normal friend. I talked to him here and there but not like constant, it just wasn't a complete friendship. Now this year when I see him passing by I can't stop smiling and try to look away but I'm still smiling ( I can't help it ). I don't know much about him but I would like to learn more. To me it seems like he doesn't even notice me in the halls of passing period or at lunch. Sorry to fall of track of the story but I have to quickly say last time I felt this I feel for him I was in 6th grade and dated this guy for like a year. So anyway he doesn't notice me but I can see him like across the quad at lunch. The best is him in his glasses. The sad part but funny is I can't be straight forward with him I get tongue tied and the only words that live my mouth is "Hey". It's not what I'm thinking in my head where I wanna start a full conversation right their in the middle of everything and just talk and try to act like I'm cool with it. Its either me or he is just magically looking right through me. From how I felt in 6th grade of just softness, goofiness, and being perfect for him. It is not like possible to explain but I can feel it. I haven't felt it but when I do when I see him I get that and it makes my day 100x better. I sleep better I feel better I'm happier and just cheerful. I'm literally crazy for him. I hope I don't sound crazy especially writing this. But I will still continue. When ever I see a couple I see a picture of that couple's hand's were ours. It's sad to think that he barely knows me and he does know I like him. The difference is he knows I have feeling for him but doesn't know how crazy these feelings are. Just it seems he could hold me. I can think of us cuddling or at least wish. Wishing that someday I could know the real him and he could know me and find me attractive on the inside. He could smile when he sees me. It's a lot to ask I know but I can dream right??? I dream that after a talk with each other we could be alone and... he could kiss me passionately and make it seem meaningful. That he could hug me hold me tight and just make me feel appreciated. Sorry but literally I have to say this. I want him to kiss me, bite me , hold me up and make it a loving moment. His glasses his eyes his smile the shot in my chest he gives me when he walks by and smiles. Those time when he takes a second to wave and say hi to me. I get a surge of pure joy. I can't help but to make this a desperate love story. Now all I need is to talk to him and honestly say I do like him and I want him to hear it from me so he can know its true. From their something awful might happen or relief or happiness. Until then I'll write again.