I Want This | david & jen

Chapter 2 - Flashback

"The heart is a bloom, shoots up through the stony ground. There's no room, no space to rent in this town." The U2 song blared out from the speakers in David's room. That was his favorite band. It didn't make him smile when he heard it or make him nostalgic, however that band put his feelings into words. Their songs made him learn more about himself with each passing day.

Shutting off the music, David stepped up to the windowsill. Clouds, he thought. So mysterious yet so boring. His eyes couldn't help but rest on the colorless, lofty clouds through the window and up in the sky. Some days he felt like he was a cloud himself. After all, clouds were soulless, like him. Clouds just sat there with nothing much to do before falling apart and letting go of rain, much like David and his tears. He figured that if reincarnation was indeed real, he'd become a cloud in the next life. Either that or a rock. Something boring definitely.

David perched upon his bed, hunched over, putting his hands over his eyes and face. Letting out a deep sigh, he reached out and grabbed the espresso on his nightstand. Brooding over events from the previous few days, he took in a deep breath. In and out. Then in, then out.

David's mind was understandably in a daze.

'Dear Jen,' he began to write. The words formed quickly in his mind. 'I don't know how to explain this feeling. I'm just so...'

That's so stupid and cliche, David thought. He got out of his bed and turned to the living room. He made his decisions quickly and decisively. Before leaving, he snatched his cellphone, coat, and an umbrella. It was raining outside. Then he walked out the door. Where would he go? He didn't know. Not yet at least. He would think of a place to go.

It was easy to hear the clomp of his heavy rain-soaked sneakers, which wasn't David's intent, when really he wanted to keep himself discreet and invisible, which he figured wouldn't be too hard in the evening's pouring rain and his dark overcoat. He walked half a mile until arriving at a bench. He sunk into it and kept his head down, hiding all of himself except his heavy breaths from the rest of the city. He didn't know why he was doing these things. Why he was making quick decisions without any consideration and going to random places. It was odd even for him. He flipped open his phone, staring at the list of contacts. One name stood out. It wasn't that special, it was even pretty common. Yet it stood out.

"Man, she's hot!"
The sudden youthful voice startled David.
He eyed up and down the bench to find a boy about 6 or 7 all up in his face. "Who is she? Do you know her? Is she your wife? Why is she on your phone?" He wouldn't stop asking questions.
"Hey buddy, I don't have any toys or anything to entertain you. Why don't you go back to your mom or papa?"
"Toys?" The boy chuckled. "What am I, five?"
David glared at him.
"Fine, I'm going back to my pops. See you later, Grandpa!"
Grandpa, he thought. So he was already at the grandpa stage. 53 didn't count as "Grand," did it? Oh, what the Sam Hill. Who cares? What an immature little boy says shouldn't matter. So why did it to him?

As he sat on the bench, his face lie in his hands. His eyes peaking through the gaps in his fingers, his head was burning and burning. His impulsive decisions were a problem.

As his head rush subsided, he made another impulsive choice.

I've got to get outta here.

What did out of here mean? Would he take a trip to Central Park, Greenwich Village? Or would it be a different kind of trip? David didn't even know himself. It was pathetic enough that even after 20 years of not seeing her, he still wasn't over her.

Suddenly, it was 2010. David woke up on a red, glossy couch. As his eyes opened, the room was misty, foggy almost. The floor was some sort of leopard skin pattern, there were guys in the corners of the room all talking to women and young girls, most dressed provocatively; others wearing almost nothing, dancing on the poles. A particular lady walked up to David and pushed her body against him, raising her eyebrows at him a few times. Realizing what she meant, he uttered,
"I don't have any money. No thank you. Not me. Not today."
She stepped away, looking for her next customer.
He looked around, trying to remember what had happened.