The Jock and the Bad Boy (COMPLETE)

EIGHTEEN

cw: alcohol

"Dude, what's up?" I ask, crouching down next to Jackson. He sniffles, shrugs, and wipes his nose with the back of his wrist. "Did something happen?"

He shakes his head and laughs. "Nah. I'm golden, don't worry about me."

Clearly that's not true. "then why'd you text me?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Wanted to talk to someone. 'M lonely."

"Alright, what do you want to talk about?" I reply. This isn't so bad. I mentally run through the list of things that he could possibly be crying about. He hasn't been dating anyone, so he hasn't been dumped. Maybe he got rejected?

"I can't tell you," he whines, "you wouldn't get it."

I take off my shoes, roll my pants up, and sit next to him on the edge of the pool. "What makes you so sure?"

He scoots over until our thighs are touching. It's a lot of contact. Athletes are generally touchy with each other, but somehow I've managed to avoid that. Until now, I guess.

Am I touch starved?

Jackson lets out a loud and dramatic sigh. I turn my attention back to him. "Because I don't even get it," he sighs. "I don't... get it. It's like..." he trails off. He makes a repeated hand motion as if that's going to help him remember. "It's like... it's like... there's this thing... that I want. And I can't fucking get over it. I should just... get over it. But I don't know how." He's almost crying again. He sounds so desperate that I think I might start crying.

I look out across the pool and see a girl I don't recognize. She's dancing to the music and I get stuck watching her for a bit. Her hair is in a long ponytail and it whips around as she turns. Her lipstick is bright pink. She seems so sure of herself. I realize that I know what Jackson is talking about.

"I've been there," I admit. "You just need to... step back. It'll probably pass."

He shakes his head. "I'm sick of waiting. I just want something to... to happen... to make it stop."

"Have you tried distracting yourself?" I suggest.

He doesn't say anything. I look at him to find out he's already looking at me. He seems scared. Neither of us move. I look at him, and he looks at me, and then he quickly glances down and back up again and closes the distance between us.

Kissing Jackson is not something I ever would have set out to do, but sometimes things happen that we don't expect. He's exceptionally good at this. I've kissed a handful of people before, but never a boy in public. Jackson doesn't seem scared anymore, so I try not to be either. I don't pull away until he does.

The first thing I think to ask after the kiss is over is "Are you gay?"

"Are you?" He counters. I can see his wall going back up. I don't know what to do.

I nod. "I, uh... I like someone else, though."

He cracks a smile. "So do I, don't worry."

-

oop...

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