Beneath the Surface // Moonsun

Chapter 19

Yongsun POV

In the academy, they said Newport was a cakewalk and I believed them. Granted that this assurance was before Lin's Clan came into prominence, the officials were mostly right. I suppose I just have a knack for being unlucky.

It was summer. My first year out of the academy and I was the fresh-faced patrol officer who responded with Officer Greene to a 911 call from an apartment in the near downtown. A simple neighbor complaint about a nearby domestic dispute that'd gotten a bit too rowdy. Those were her exact words as we pulled into the parking lot.

Maybe if we'd handled the situation with the caution of an armed robbery, he'd still be alive today. Maybe the decisions I made that ended his life wouldn't have replayed over and over again every time I touched a gun, even years after the occurrence. Or maybe it would've ended the same anyway. There was no reasoning with him.

The young man was under the influence of bath salts and, in his paranoia, he believed his boyfriend was an alien sent from another planet to kill him. So when Officer Greene and I came banging on the door, we were the alien reinforcements.

He had a heavy cleaver in his hand and he threatened us. He lunged and made moves to attack us. So I shot him in the chest. Too soon.

The Sergeant told me that and, eventually, the Chief of Police but I knew that if I waited a few seconds longer he would've attacked Officer Greene who was attempting to calm him. And maybe she could've restrained him peacefully, or maybe if he attacked her she would've lived and my shot would've been justified but I didn't wait. I couldn't.

I can swear up and down all I want that I only shot to wound him, but he's still dead. I have to live with that decision.

I waited too long for Taliah. I wonder if I had a gun three hours ago would I have shot Theo first. He's still dead though and I killed him, so I guess it wouldn't matter. This time it was justified.

That doesn't make me feel better.

"I can feel the self-pity emitting from you in waves." Byulyi has her head tilted back against the couch in the lighthouse with her eyes closed. "If you could maybe not bring such negative vibes into my humble abode that'd be great."

Up yours. I present my middle finger towards her as my answer to that comment and her lips twitch slightly as if she can somehow see me.

I can't even feel angry at her right now. The compassion she showed me earlier was so unusual for her that I almost have whiplash. After yelling at me, she comforted me not three hours later and it's so confusing. Her kindness makes me hopeful and I don't even know what I'm hoping for.

She'd asked me to debrief her on everything that happened with Taliah and muttered every once in awhile something offensive about her decision-making skills or intelligence. And at the end of my recap she told me, "Good job for not fucking it up any more than she did."

The more I hang around Byulyi, the more tired and stressed she seems. And for all her sexual bravado, sometimes it really just looks like she needs a hug. Not that she'd ask for one. Not that I'd ever offer.

"How long until Wheein gets back?" I ask finally, tired of listening to the clock ticking and Byulyi's soft breathing.

She sighs. "I don't know. You can go in the spare room and sleep. No one's stopping you."

"Are you going to sleep?"

"Of course not."

"Then I won't either." I cross my arms, sinking further into the armchair I'm in. I can feel her eyeing me from the couch. "As a previous officer of the law, I learned a thing or two about comradery."