insomnia ; kth + jjk

➰thirty one➰

yoongi woke up smelling the aroma of breakfast. he noticed hoseok wasn't in bed and wondered if he was the last to wake up.

after cleaning himself, he went downstairs to see everyone busy without him. namjoon and jin rustling in the kitchen, jimin talking to taehyung over the counter, and jungkook showing hoseok his first tattoo.

"jungkook, you got a tattoo?" yoongi asked, stepping off the last step.

"oh yeah. i got it last night. kind of an impulse decision." he laughed.

yoongi nodded.

time felt happy but there was still some isolation in the air. looking around, he saw the problem. it didn't know how long everyone had been awake but he knew jungkook and taehyung had not talked yet.

was everyone waiting for him to wake? were they just going to ignore the whole thing all together?

he wanted to bring it up, but how does he do that without making it awkward.

as soon as he opened his mouth to say something, jin called everyone to the table to eat.

forks were scrapping plates and glasses were constantly being picked up. silence was what they needed to enjoy their breakfast.

sometime along the way, everyone calmed down and became quiet. the ignored topic was floating around, glaring at their heads from how bad it needed to be talked about.

"oh for fucks sake. who's gonna be the one to talk first." jin sat his hands down.

"well you already did that." hoseok said.

jin glared at him, while hoseok cheesed.

"do we have to talk about it now.." taehyung whined, putting his head in his arms.

"they're right taehyung. we can't move on if we don't address it."

jungkook has reached over to touch taehyung, but retracted his hand quickly as he'd been burned. was he still afraid that taehyung didn't see him the same way? that he wouldn't forgive him?

"..... so where do we start." namjoon dragged.

jungkook sighed, "i'd like to apologize. and please don't interrupt me. i was at fault here. i accused taehyung off lies and went on assumptions that he would betray me. i ignored his character and the person he let me see just to believe that everyone is out to get me and for that taehyung i'm truly sorry."

taehyung's eyes were pricking with tears. it was too early to be this emotional. he wanted to tell jungkook it was okay. that he doesn't care and that he'd never do any harm to jungkook. he just wants this all to be over.

"a random person dm'ed me on twitter. i checked my message. i opened it to see it was from bogum. he had texted me saying that taehyung wasn't who i thought he was and that i was nothing but temporary rebound. i didn't believe that of course. anyone could just come and say that to me. so then i asked him for proof."

"now i wasn't expecting him to actually send me his acclaimed proof. i looked at it. i read it so many times because- because i just couldn't believe my eyes. i couldn't believe the man that i was beginning to love was only using me for personal gains. so i used this proof. i used it to my fuel my victim complex. that everyone was out to get me. and i got mad, i got really mad. i was so angry that after seeing people's reactions to us being a couple and just seeing taehyung's face in general made me want to punch a wall." he looked at taehyung, but it was so quick you could've missed it.

"i wanted to feel hurt... because my safe place was crashing right in front of my eyes." he closed his eyes, holding back tears.

"after storming out of here, i realized i didn't actually know how to drive. i took the keys for dramatic effect. i walked down to the pier to clear my mind. i walked until my legs were numb and i plopped onto the dock. you may not believe me but i started at the water for hours. there was one point i looked at myself in the reflection until my vision was blurred with my own tears. and once my heart had too much adrenaline, i screamed into the void until my voice was hoarse."

by now you could hear quiet sobs from the table. there was so much emotion in the words jungkook spoke that just made everyone want to cry. there was so much sniffling that it couldn't have only been from one person. this raw and uncut version of jungkook made everyone stand to attention.

"i just." he dropped his head, "my head was all over he place and i didnt know what to do. by this time it was dark, i had fell asleep and woken up to my phone on 10% and still no ability to drive. so i walked a road with no destination. it just so happened that that road led me to a tattoo parlor. making a rational decision, i went into the shop. i didn't look to out of place with my black clothing, but i did look lost in the face. my head was all cloudy and there was tear stains on my face. someone asked me if i was lost, which i answered to no."

"and somewhere in my mind i decided, i'm not leaving this place until i feel pain. until i feel a needle poking into my skin writing something i'll regret in the future when my skin is starting to sag and my tattoo looks like shit."

"i'll save you the story on how it happened but i left with this." he lifted up his sleeve.

on his arm was simply just a bandaid with a smiley face in the middle, but the way he stared at it gave it meaning.

"when jin called me, i didn't want to talk. i was on some type of pain high and i just knew he'd ruin it, no offense." he smiled in his direction.

"and then yoongi picked up the phone reminding me of the one thing i was trying to rid my mind of." which yoongi answered with a shrug.

jungkook's eyes slowly cut to taehyung, causing him to hitch his breath. "and then you said that one word. those two letters that made me anger fuel into a brighter fire. as soon as you uttered the word hi to me my knees buckled. i was hoping to ignore you. i hoped you'd leave and never come back. that soon you'd unfollow me on twitter and that any trace of us would just vanish. oh i wished that so badly. but then you tried to have a conversation about what happened and i couldn't think straight and for a second i couldn't breathe. everything i wanted to say in my head came out jumbled when i actually spoke. i don't know why i was so nervous. i was suppose to be dropping you from my life. i should've been alright by then."

and at this point he couldn't help the tears that had started rolling down his eyes. nor could taehyung. he too didn't even try to hide that he had been crying anymore.

"but it only took one thought. one memory back to the day we first met. i remembered the fun i had. i hadn't felt sweet happiness like that in a long time. it was very intimate and i liked it that i shared it with you."

"so when i tell you it broke my heart to read the messages of how after we had shared our first kiss, you went to go have sex with bogum; i wanted to erase you from my mind. forget the kindness i ever showed you. leave behind the future i planned out of us."

"and even when i accused you and flat out told you that, you still didn't give up. even when i continued to tell you that you weren't lying, you cared about me so much to shake me out of my delusional state."

"you weren't being delusional, you just didn't know." taehyung interrupted.

"but i was. i went off fake texts from somebody i didn't even know! i used messages to my advantage to hurt you. i did that. it was all me." his knees buckled and he sobbed.

jimin was the first one to catch him from falling completely on the ground. jungkook sobbed really hard into his chest, as everyone told him he was okay and that everything was alright.

taehyung stood in shock. his body shook but he felt paralyzed. he wanted to reach out to jungkook too. he needed to be the one whispering sweet nothings into jungkook's ears as they cried together.

but he was stuck.

that was until namjoon came over to hug him. it was one of those comforting hugs you'd get from your grandma after scraping your knee.

and it was only then that taehyung cried a loud yell too. a bone chilling emotion ran through him and he needed him. he needed to be with jungkook.

he stumbled over there and sat down. he tapped jimin's shoulder to let him in. he was the one person who could actually console jungkook right now.

when taehyung had enclosed his arms around him, jungkook did it back really fast. like it was a drug he couldn't get enough of.

and they sat there, crying into each others shoulders over what could've been it for them.

hehe i'm kinda back ?? this isn't proof read and i hope everything made sense. i just wrote this in one take lmao