The Simplest Gifts

Bound by a Wish

"Close your eyes. Now...make a wish!"

*****

"I just want you to have a good Christmas, Vince!"

Gilbert, brushing off a place on the snowy cobblestones, sat down beside his brother, handing him a piece of the bread he had spent much of the evening trying to steal.

He wore a smile, but his eyes were tired.

Do you really mean that, Gil?

There was a new cut on Gil's leg since that morning, his raggedy cloak was even dirtier than before.

Vincent had learned to stop asking; Gil often lied and said the cuts and bruises meant nothing, or, if he told the truth, it just made Vincent feel bad.

He was so small, so young. They both were. To be this alone, this wanting. They didn't deserve this.

Just because of his stupid red eye.

Vincent took the bread, brushing his hair over that curse.

He didn't deserve this.

His brother didn't deserve this.

It was clear he didn't know it, but Gilbert's words were like daggers to Vincent. Though he might have meant them to be encouraging, they dove straight for his heart.

I just want you to be happy.

I just want you to have a good Christmas.

Sharp pains straight for the beat.

Because, how could he? How could he have a good Christmas when they had nothing? When they could watch other kids ice skating, having snowball fights, eating candy canes, pressing their noses against shop windows, pointing at the toys and saying I want this for Christmas, Mommy!

Watch, and watch them go by. Never to join the games. No one to turn to who would buy them the things they wanted. No one to turn to. Not even a family, a nice fire to warm up by, or a Christmas dinner. They had to start asking for smaller, insignificant things—things they could actually receive.

They started asking for only each other's happiness.

And it was still too much to ask.

How could he be happy when he knew there was no way Gil could be?

I just want you to have a good Christmas, Vince.

Did he really mean that?

Was that the only thing? No toys in the shop windows? Not even a decent meal? A bit of warmth from the cold?

Surely he didn't.

How could his happiness be enough?

Because he, Vincent, was the only thing keeping Gil from a normal happy life. If he just left him he'd be able to find a home, a family. Without him, their parents probably wouldn't have abandoned him. Gilbert would be having a nice Christmas, opening gifts, eating cookies, by a cozy fire. He could be one of those kids with the rosy cheeks, and the spoiled rotten hearts.

If it weren't for me.

Vincent was Gilbert's chain. Tethering him to the gutters, the harsh words, and even harsher world. Without him, the world would surely be soft and cushioned, not full of sharp edges.

But if Gilbert just broke the link, he could still have that life, if he just left him behind...

Please don't leave me behind, Gil.