Dear Niall...

Chapter 3

~Two years later, Chrissie is in year 3, Niall is in year 5~

Niall and I haven't really talked ever since that incident in year 1. Year 2 was a bit of a blur, it was a lot more work and I couldn't really write to him as much. I saw him here and there though.

Year 3 is okay, but I have more free time to write to Niall.

-13 September, 2002-

Dear Niall,
It's been so long since I've written to you last! I've missed it to be honest. And oh yeah! Today's your birthday! Happy birthday! You're 10 now. Wow. I'm only 7! I'm gonna try to talk to you today. Hopefully I can without stuttering again.. Well at recess I'm gonna try. I love you!

Love forever & always,

Chrissie McDermott

"What'd you write?" Holly asked. Ever since year 1, we've been in the same class and pretty much inseparable.

Every Saturday we hang out and have sleepovers and talk about Niall the whole time. He's pretty much all we talk about most of the time.

"To Niall. I can finally write again to him and I wanna talk to him today."

"Are you sure? You might get embarrassed again like what happened a few years ago!" Holly warned me.

"It's his birthday though! I wanna talk to him!" I protested.

"I still dunno. I mean, he's ten now. He's double digits! He might be embarrassed to talk to little girls."

"I just wanna say happy birthday! Please, can we do it? You know you wanna."

Holly shrugged. "Okay. At recess let's do it."

At 12 o'clock, we went to recess and I saw Niall with his friends. They were always in the same spot.

"There he is," said Holly. She pointed to him, sitting on the curb and talking with his friends.

"Ready?" I said to Holly, looking over to her. "Ready," she said and grabbed my hand. We walked over to him at a slightly fast pace.

Niall and his friends were looking at us. One of his friends whispered something into Niall's ear, but I couldn't tell what he was saying.

"Remember, stay cool," I whispered.

"Gotcha."

"Hi Niall!" Holly said. She was very perky.

"Hello, um...Holly right?" he said. "Yeah," she replied sticking out her hand. They shook hands. Then, he stood up, said something to his friends, then took us to the other end of the playground.

He put both of his hands on top of our shoulders. I felt my face heat up. I turned to Holly. Her face wasn't as red as mine, but she couldn't take the smile off her face.

"What're you doing, Niall?" I asked.

"I have to talk to you guys."

"About what?" Holly asked.

"Listen, you two. I don't wanna cause any trouble, but you're both embarrassing me in front of my friends! You're both sweet and all, but can we only talk in the halls or something? Not here?"

That broke my heart. It's only a two year difference; that's not a lot, to be honest. And we're embarrassing? What?!

"Can I at least say something to you, Niall?" I asked.

"Sure."

"I love you. You don't understand. You wouldn't understand. Just...just...ugh I can't do this," I said, then ran off.

I know I might sound a bit dramatic for a girl in year 3, but I was going insane over this lad who pretty much hated me.

"Wait! Chrissie! Where are you going?!" she called.

"I'm going home and not coming back!"

I ran, and when I say that, I mean I ran. Far. I didn't stop until I got home.

No one was there, so I unlocked the door, ran upstairs into my room, and cried. I cried more than I ever did before. To get my feelings out, I wrote another letter.

13 September, 2002

Dear Niall,
Today you broke me heart. I feel awful. I didn't realise you felt that way about Holly and me. I'm sorry for ever wanting to talk to you. You're ten, I'm seven, for now at least. I'll try to talk to you in the halls as you said, but since I said "i love you" I don't think you'd want to talk to me again. But I'll still love you, Niall. You'll come to your senses one day.

Love forever and always,

Chrissie McDermott

I didn't even know if I wanted to love him anymore. He's too old for me, perhaps. Yeah. And he doesn't love me anyways. So I guess I shouldn't but I'm confused.

This lad is making me question my love for him. Do I love him? Yes. Should I love him? Maybe. Does he love me? After what had just happen, probably not. But what about Holly?

She was keeping cool, she wasn't nervous like me, does he think she's better than me? I mean, I'd still be friends with her, but I'm jealous. So jealous. I just don't know.