The Mafia's Deception

Chapter 9

Death!

Have one ever sat to give it a thought? Like, thinking about where your soul is destined to be after when everything ends for you? But I know there is nothing mesmerizing about it.. even the thought of It is making me shiver.

I quickly let go of that anxious perception because Right now it's not coming in handy.
and looking at how the breeze moves away dead leaves from the path I walked upon, I felt cold at once. But nonetheless, I went over to mom's headstone.

Laid my hands on the chill engravement written, "Rest in peace to our mother, sister and Friend. From 1976-2020'
I left out a sigh and sat on the cool lawn. It was hazy in the graveyard and that made me reminisce the horror movie I watched with my girls; Thirteen Ghosts.

Quickly, I sought distractions.
"Hey ummi, Erhh...How are you doing?. Shit ...sorry....I hope you are fine? .." I started rambling.

I was supposed to hate her for every detailed thing she did to me, I felt nostalgic at once. I should have poisoned her when I had my chance.

Really?
My inner voice rose a brow at me.

"But I couldn't do it." I shot back.

It was like something was stopping me.

when I heard of her death, I should have been drowning in joy.

Instead, I cried my eyes out. And now all I feel is a void in my heart. I never thought I would live to see a day where I would actually miss her. But right now I wish she was here soothing me.She was my mother afterall.

No matter how she pushes me away, At least I knew I had someone who wouldn't throw me out of the house to live on the streets.

Thinking of our good moments we had together, And seeing how everything just flipped when it started, I was totally convinced I have no one now. Absolutely no one. I don't know what would become of me when I leave the Ravellinos. I don't even know where I would commence from.

Life is a fucked up spaghetti. No matter from which end you start, you'll still have the other end waiting.

Maybe that sounded a little dumb

"I've missed you mom"

I broke the silence hoping on a response. But seconds turned to minutes. I got nothing just the cries of crows and crickets.

Sniffing and drinking into reality, knowing she's not coming back, I rubbed my already puffy eyes and began singing the bedtime songs she'd tell me.

'When the sun is shining, In the light of day.
And sunset embracing, wasting a day.
As Night falls in,Just know I'm here to stay.
My darling, I'm here to stay'

I ended it with a kiss on her tombstone. Then placed my head on her tomb feeling like it's her lap, drawing circles on it. I closed my eyes and I could almost scent her favorite deodorant filling my nostril.

"You should keep the dough in the fridge.''
She laughed at my dough.
I scrunched my nose as I glanced at my outcome once more.
"It's so mushy"
The eleven years me took in the picture of my hands with the flour, egg and milk mixture, I washed my hands in the zinc under running water. Taking a kitchen towel to wipe the water off my hands.

"Guess what I got for you?"
My mother was definately a goddess

"Barney and Friends CD?"
I squeaked with joy and looked at her like a child desperate for a cone of Ice-cream.