a couple days had passed since i arrived at dakota's. the way he greeted me, so nicely, after everything he had done within the past few months made him seem almost inhuman at that point. he treated me so kindly, yet i knew that he was using all of it as an act just to get me to like him again.
while i didn't mind not getting potentially beaten, it didn't feel right. and i knew that once he got the message that i didn't intend on taking his bullshit, all hell would break loose.
for the time being, he was mildly accepting of me staying in a separate room. it gave me space and time to think properly about everything. often times i merely sat alone in the dark late in the night, too stressed to properly sleep. i missed jaren, i missed raven, and octavia, and the little family that we all made together.
but for the record, it could be worse. much, much worse. my anxiety has been acting up a lot these last few days, but could you really blame it? i was scared, lonely, and i wasn't sure if anything would ever be the same from here on out. in a world where everyone tells you to believe it will get better, it's hard to do that when the light at the end of the tunnel seems to get dimmer and dimmer by the day.
i certainly hoped it would get better, and raven being able to come see me seemed to make things a little better, acting like a match in the dark, in the midst of the dark tunnel that i've found myself stuck in.
there was a knock at the door.
i muttered a quiet yet audible "come in," which was followed by dakota entering the room slowly. he seemed to inhale and then suddenly pause, as if stopping himself before saying something. he reassessed his words before speaking softly and in a calm matter.
"are you....are you doing alright, love?" he says, he seemed rather afraid to make any contact with me at all, which struck me as odd.
"no. you should know that more than any one else. not to mention you have the literal audacity to call me that, after what you pulled at the bar." i responded harshly. he seemed taken aback by the cold tone of words but didn't say anything.
he stopped himself before he said something again. instead, he remained silent, and simply stood up and left. i watched as he shut the door behind him. he shut it rather slowly and calmly, contradicting the slam that i was normally faced with whenever i spoke badly towards him. but i thought nothing of it for the time being. for now, i was tired, and a little hungry, considering i wasn't eating much recently.
i climbed onto the bed and laid down, closing my eyes and trying my best to sleep. the insomniac within me waking up and taking over. i laid there for what seemed was hours, (to which it probably was) until i lazily shut my eyes, and let myself slip into my subconscious state of mind.
---
a wave of tiredness swept over me as i opened my eyes. i was met upon a clock on the night stand that read 1:47 p.m., aside from that, i felt a weight shift on the side of my bed. i bolted upwards to see who it was, it was raven.
"calm down, chickadee, you're all right." she cooed reassuringly.
i sighed and allowed my heartbeat to ease its pace.
"dakota let me in, surprisingly. i've been here for about an hour, but you seemed to be really tired, so i didn't wake you." she says, breaking the minor silence between us.
i shift slightly, "yeah, sorry about that. i'm just...not sleeping well."
raven looks at me solemnly, "insomnia again?"
