The hours following my decision went by slowly. The simple essence and being of time just seemed different now. And the more I thought about it, the more I doubted myself about choosing to do this. Everything seemed like it wasn't the same. The sky seemed a little less blue, the air felt a little less like how I knew it, and the people definitely weren't who I met a long time ago.
The stars. They usually seemed so perfect up in the sky, having nothing else to worry about other than their light that shone upon the universe. But today they seemed a little dimmer. A little less like how stars should be. They lost all of their wonder that I feel for. Even the moon disappeared, and during the days when I desperately needed the help, she was always there for me to talk to. But apparently not today.
I sighed quietly, knowing that this would be the last I would feel free for a little while. But thinking about it, it felt like I wasn't free anymore as it was. I frowned gently as I looked up at the sky again. The dawn was coming quickly, and the twilight that I desperately enjoyed being in was slowly slipping away. Much like a certain person who I yearned to keep in my life.
Jaren was sad, upon my decision he hadn't spoken a lot, nor contradicted it. I could tell he wanted to, but he knew that it was probably the only possible way that could result in everything being back to normal again. But then again, had it ever really been 'normal?'
It was at that moment when he came out onto yard with me. The grass was dewy as the cool air gently began to escape the atmosphere. He said nothing, I knew exactly what he was going to say, regardless. He simply stared at the ground, stealing quick glances at me, hoping I wouldn't notice.
"You know I want to do this," I mutter quietly for him to hear.
The sound of my voice caught his attention immediately as his head jerked up from his gaze at the ground. He stifled a sigh and frowned once again.
"I know. I just wish you didn't have to do it." He murmured back. I sighed, I wish I didn't have to do it either. But it's not exactly easy when life has other plans to fuck yourself. I looked at him, his gaze now fixated on the stars.
I put my hand into his and he intertwined his fingers around mine gently. I looked up at the stars along with him, their gaze twinkling yet slowly going out from the morning twilight. I smiled sadly at a story I had remember being told as a kid.
"You know there's a love story between the stars and the sun?" I ask, he looked back at me again. His eyes full of curiosity.
"The stars and the sun were once together on the earth. Well, technically because the sun is a star. But their names were Estelle and Solaris." Jaren's eyes continued to watch me closely. "Initially they were together at all times, but their parents, the night and day were close enemies, and hated each other more than anything."
"Because of this, the day and night separated them forever, and sent them to different parts of the world. Both of them were heartbroken, so the sun gave the stars a little bit of his light, so they could hold a part of him every night. But despite their separation, they get to see each other only once per day. During twilight. The sun and stars meet ever so lightly, but it's a gentle contact that keeps them content until the next twilight. The only sad thing is that if the clouds get in the way, they have to wait until the next twilight to see each other." I say, Jaren smiled softly.
"If that's the way it has to be with us, then...I wouldn't mind. I mean, I don't like it but, as long as I still get to see you." His voice trailed off into a whisper as he leaned closer to me. I sighed contently, a minor feeling of safety sinking in gently.
We leaned our foreheads against one another and closed our eyes slowly. "We'll get through this, it'll take time, but I know we can do it. It's not exactly easy, you know." I say.
"Do you believe in love?" he asks quietly, his voice barely piercing into the atmosphere.
"I believe in you, is that good enough?" I replied, he smiled a little.
"It's good enough for me." He murmurs, closing in the gap between our lips gently as we savored what might have been our last moments together for until the next time we knew.
