Mine {Book 1}| Completed

Prologue: Trapped In My Depression

Prologue: Trapped In My Depression

     I remember being in that small room that I pretended was a jail cell. I never wanted this to happen to me. I knew I was going to lose my mind any second. I heard the nurses waking us up. I hadn't slept. Wait... I haven't slept in nine
months. I can't stand this place. When I'm here I think of killing myself. Dad hasn't written me since he admitted me here. My mother visits and writes me all the time. Staying here I don't feel like myself. But when mom shows up I feel perfectly alive and fine. My mom is a College French teacher. It's why I'm so fluent with French. And I took six years of dance, and five years of cheerleading.

As I was getting out of the bed that I slept on. And I got up and I decided I take a shower and I was going directly to the showers. The first memory I got in the showers was nine months ago when Gretchen Lee had bullied me like crazy. She slut shamed me. Well that's another story. And she attacked me basically and tried shoving a bar of soap down my throat until Petra forced her away. Since I been here Gretchen has been my worst enemy. The truth is I actually feel sorry for her. But what's important that she found out why my dad put me in here. It's not because I'm crazy like everyone else. It's because I slept with my stepbrother. But not only that... I was in love with him. And when dad found out he forced me into the car of a very rainy day. When dad found out that I was in love with Christopher he got so angry that he punched him. And my stepmom, Colleen looked distraught but she did nothing. I begged her not to let dad send me away but all she told me was that it was for my own good. When dad and Colleen got married I despised it. But I knew I had to get over it. I been crazy about Christopher since the moment I saw him. But then one day...I just had to kiss him. And I did.

For these long nine months all Doctor Jefferson talks about is how I feel and about Christopher trying to convince me that I'm not in love with him. But I do know is that Christopher loves me the same. But now all I think about is that he is probably in college and moving on. Maybe he's dating a pretty college girl. A girl who is good with economics. Maybe she speaks German fluently. She probably also a blonde. And she is probably tall and beautiful. She must love to draw and love romantic comedies. So he's probably moved on. And that's all I want for him. Once I get out of here I'm planning to move in with mom in Los Angeles.

I'm in the Lovely Ladies Institute. It's in Fresno. And it's practically boring. Annoying also. And I cannot stand Gretchen. She knows about Christopher and me. And she uses that by calling me a whore. But I know her secret. She's actually a lesbian and her mother disowned her and always said verbal things. But she defended her mother against all bad. Especially when she caught her father cheating on her mother and she stabbed her father who is luckily still alive but just in a coma for four years since the incident happened. So I know a lot about her as much as she knows about me. She's nineteen and she basically just owns the place in her own eyes and thoughts.

I'm in my pajamas that is pajama shorts and a white tank top. I got my slippers on and I open the closet in the room of the showers to get a towel. I place the towel on the ramp to hang once I get out. And turned on the shower to a nice hot water sprinkling down from the shower head. And I removed my clothes stepping into the shower and I got my entire body wet and I sighed from it feeling so nice. Peaceful. Relaxed. And I can think about things. But I think of a lot of things. I think of the time Christopher and I made the most crazy love in the shower. And I remember the moaning and the climax. But now it's just a memory. And all I think of is Christopher and in a way I can still hear us in my head. I can remember everything about us.

The water poured down on my head and I breathed feeling the hot water sprinkle down my shoulders and my back and legs. And I just sighed of relaxation. And I closed my eyes while getting drenched as ever. I miss Christopher so badly that I think of him kissing me again. Like he used to. How attracted I was to him. And I give anything for it. Anything. But I pulled myself from my thoughts and I just washed myself in the shower before Gretchen decides to invade my moment like she normally does on a Monday. Especially when she is bored and got nothing else better to do.