Misery Loves Company

Chapter 14

Greyson

I feel like such a fucking idiot. Without even thinking anything through, I chose not to return to May all because I let Brittany get into my head. How stupid could I be? To let the words of my ex-girlfriend, who was clearly obsessed, get into my head and fill me with doubt?

Of course, I knew who May Carter was. I remember hearing of the tragic accident that took the lives of her entire family and her fiance. I don't even blame her for going off of the deep end and spiraling out of control. If it were me, I would have done the same thing. Yet, here I was, judging her before I even got to know her like I said I wanted to. And to make matters worse, she doesn't seem the type to forgive easily, which means me not showing back up after I said I would AFTER I initiated everything between us, a sure sign for dismissal.

I don't even have her number. I have no idea where she lives. I know nothing about this girl. How am I supposed to get a hold of her and apologize? Even knowing who she is hasn't changed my mind after I've truly thought it over. I still want to get to know her. There is more to her than her "story." I know there is. 

I think of ways I can try and reach out. Maybe if I go out to the club again on the weekend, she'll be there. Or, I'll throw another party. My parents will be away this weekend so I'll have the house to myself. 

I think back to the first moment I saw her at the last party I threw. She had wandered into the kitchen at about the same time I had. She hadn't noticed me but I had noticed her. I remember feeling like I had just been punched in the gut, her beauty was breathtaking. I stopped in my tracks and watched her, in awe. And when I saw her go for the alcohol bottle, I took my chance and made the stupid comment to her she clearly didn't like. She had a fire behind her eyes and I so badly wanted to get burned. 

May doesn't know this but I had seen her wander up to my stairs that night and although I had not known particularly what room she had gone into, I was praying it was mine. My surprise reaction to her being on my balcony wasn't much of a surprise at all but more of relief and excitement.

May

Monday mornings are never my favorite. These are the days I try to get back into my weekly routine after binging the weekend away. I sigh as I hear my least favorite noise -  the ding of the elevator. It opens up to an entire floor full of people, rushing around and acting like madmen. I put on my fake smile and strut my way across the floor on my way to Tony's office. 

Tony has been my father's dearest friend and business partner since before my time. The two graduated college together and soon afterward started Carter & Anderson. I grew up in this building, watching the company grow into the giant establishment it is currently. Tony became a second father to me when my father passed away. He's looked out for me and made sure I've always been taken care of alongside Ashley. He has one of the purest hearts I've ever known. 

Even though I've dropped out of college, Tony encouraged me to come in and work with him periodically. He thought it would be good for me to keep myself busy, keep my brain working. And although I appreciate him and his every effort to thwart my body of the pain, coming into this building and seeing my father's empty office every time feels like a stab to the chest. 

I hold onto my special mug, a combination of vodka and orange juice, a little tighter when I see the glass door and the residue of the lettering that once held my father's name, Jonathan Carter. 

I know Tony is right. I know in order to heal, I need to keep myself busy and keep positive healthy forces in my life but the drinking and other self-destructive behaviors have given me more relief than any of this ever has. Endless numbers and meetings and planning can't numb me. Not in the way I need them to. But, I need to do this. The last thing I want to do is destroy my father's legacy, the one he worked endlessly for. This is for you, dad.

I take a deep breath and a quick swig from my mug before pushing my way into Tony's office. You've got this.

"Good morning sunshine," he looks up from his laptop at his desk and smiles.

"How are we doing? Have a good weekend?" he laughs.

I simply give him a light-hearted laugh back, "you could say that." I sit down at the chair in front of him.

"Good." 

I've put Tony through a lot. He lost his best friend that day too and then had all of these responsibilities dumped on his already full plate, myself included. He managed to handle it with such grace and composure. I only hope to be half has dignified as he one day. 

"Ok, we do have a couple of meetings today regarding some big clients. We need to restructure an entire financial portfolio for them following some mergers. I'd like for you to work with me side-by-sid on this one." He sounds so professional and put together.

"Absolutely, I'd love to," I respond back eagerly. As hard as this job is, keeping busy and investing all of my time and energy into working is the only thing that has saved me from going completely under. Even though I have mastered the art of walking the line. 

"I'm so proud of you May. You've truly become such a bright, strong, passionate, young woman. Your father would be so proud." He replies with a full heart.

My heart sinks. Tony doesn't know about my excessive drinking or my choice of other bad behaviors. It would break his heart if he knew about the scars hidden beneath my tattoos. Although he wasn't happy about them in the first place, it was much better than the alternative of him bearing witness to the cuts. I've hidden as much as I possibly can in order to spare him the heartache of having to see just how fucking bad I really am. 

"Thanks, Tony. I wouldn't be where I am without you." I give him the faintest smile to hide my discomfort.

"You don't give yourself enough credit May. You've been to hell and back."

Who said I ever came back?