Stella's Cafe: A Jang Geun Suk Fanfic

10. When Do Stars Sleep?

I want to tell you about how I drove all the girls back home to my place were we spent the rest of the night happily bonding over drinks, snacks and the sheer amazingness of our experience but lets be real. My circuits had been blown clean away since the moment that beautiful man boy bowed in front of my friends and asked them to take care of me. It was literally a miracle that I got us back to my apartment without any major traffic infringements (except for that one red light that came out of nowhere).

I have vague memories of being in my apartment and some of the girls talking to me... maybe even asking me questions?

At some point Serene pushed a cup of something warm in my hands. I automatically sipped at it and it turned out to be cocoa. I didnt even know I had any at my place. Then Sears and Weng were tucking me into my bed and someone must have taken the cup from me because my hands were empty. They looked like they were trying not to laugh.

I lay there and listened to the happy hum of the girls remembering everything that had happened in that legendery night. Remembering Sukkie and inscribing the experience in their hearts.

Right then, my heart - my whole chest area and stomach cavity in fact - felt too tender for any kind of examination. So I just lay there with my mind kind of blank while weird, not unpleasant ripples of electricity skittered over my skin every time anyone said his name.

I wondered if this weirdness was love. Or lust. Or passion. It felt like I was coming down with something. How did people know if it was love or a cold?

I didn't want to sleep or even close my eyes. Everything felt too fragile. Like there was a very real risk that closing my eyes would end it, like reverse waking up from a dream. Fin. Roll credits.

Or even if not that then what if the weight of all the emotion that I couldn't deal with just smothered in my sleep so that the girls would wake in the morning to find a smiling corpse where I had once been? That felt possible too.

So I lay there and listened as laughing and talking faded to yawning, mumbling and sighing and then one by one, my friends drifted off to sleep, the last one - Suka - turning off the lights before curling up in her spot beside my coffee table.

And still I lay awake.

I lay awake untill delicate pink lights began to tint my windows either from the approaching dawn or from hallucinations brought on by lack of sleep and emotional overload. I didn't feel tired so I got up and picked my way over the sleeping forms of the SeOulSister and squeezed into my closet sized bathroom.

Closing the door behind me I turned on the light, turned to the mirror and almost gave myself a heart attack. Ringu-Ssi was back in all her messy haired, pale skinned and eye bagged glory. After stifling sounds of shock, I quickly rinsed my face with cold water and basically added the recently drowned quality to the overall mess.

Sighing heavily, I undressed and stepped into the shower stall where I proceeded to come as close to scalding myslef as possible. By the time I stepped out I had at least recovered some of my color and my senses which was good because I was finally thinking.

I decided that I could not go on with my life in this stupor of confusion.

If what I was thinking was actually true and real - and ohmygodihadneverwantedanythingtoberealsomuchinmyentirelife - then it would suck if I missed it because I was in some kind of emotional coma. So first things first. I needed some kind of reassurance. I grabbed my earlobe and pulled hard.

More stifling of shocked sounds because don't try that, it actually really hurts. But now I knew for sure I was awake. That was the only kind of reassurance I could give myself but it wasnt the reassurance I really wanted. The kind I could only get from him.